Lady Voldemort

If you are a quiet, even tempered, single, monogamy-inclined, independently wealthy music engineer named Diego over the age of 38 who is gay, stocky with a large butt, a low to voraciously high sex drive, fluency in spanish and italian, and looking to marry a bald drag queen named Katya i have found a suitable engagement ring if you would like to propose marriage. Deal breakers include: we cannot live in the same house, religious okay but no astrology, no hard drugs, no “fun drunks”. I am able to bring many wonderful things to the table (all subject to change without notice) and I will be ready to seriously date in approximately 18 months. My red flags include low to no relationship experience, unpredictable mood swings, substance abuse disorder, being bald, and wearing wigs for both business and pleasure. My green flags include an imitable joie de vivre, great teeth and my primary love language is physical touch followed by quality time (Tuesday, Friday and Saturday only please—absence makes the heart grow fonder) There is no chance in hell for children but pets are negotiable. Thank you. ♥️

boomers sending DMs to AI-generated women on instagram

Oh—

Shut up. Ladies, buy the boobs, get the Botox, wear the skimpy gym outfits, take the GLP, wear the makeup, get so jacked it makes weak men uncomfortable. Do whatever makes you feel good when you look in the mirror. Most importantly, don't ever listen to ugly broke fat men on the internet's opinions.

I WILL be repeating this outfit all summer idc!

Put down the ex

@IndyBassetDad76 Oh my goshhhhh they’re both so pretty!

@LadyVoldemort09 That is MaeBelle. She has the shorter snoot and white on her face. This is Stella

Basshole selective hearing!

@IndyBassetDad76 Which one is this? SO cute!! Currently chasing Bonnie around the house trying to get her to go potty

@LadyVoldemort09 What that looks like in case anyone was wondering 😂

48 years ago, at age 19, Kate Bush became the first female artist to achieve a UK number one with a self-written song.

@IndyBassetDad76 No kidding And mine will also look you straight in the face like “yes I hear you, I’m IGNORING you!”

@LadyVoldemort09 Bassholes are the Jedi Masters of selective hearing.

ah yes, the three genders: the broken, the beaten, and the damned

eating some random pill off the carpet

To me, the worst thing about unexpectedly going viral while you’re sleeping is that it’s invasive. Like what are all you people doing in my bedroom

@shawtyastrology Aries moon- 100

what’s your moon sign in astrology & how EASY do you find it to go to sleep before 10pm on a scale of 1-10? 😴💤 (1 being extremely easy, 10 being very difficult) the moon in astrology represents your sleep schedules & sleeping! 🌕✨

@emmaclaire_z You can do it!!

@LadyVoldemort09 Hell yeah. I guess this is the motivation I needed to get me to yoga

Crushed Pilates even though I didn’t want to go and it’s raining, pls clap

@JShalooby @ok_bishh So true!

@ok_bishh @LadyVoldemort09 The “I don’t feel like working out” workouts usually are the better ones when it’s all said and done.

It’s try not to get institutionalized Tuesday

@emmaclaire_z Precisely!!!

@LadyVoldemort09 Right like I’ve already done all the research and I promise this is the correct solution just please implement

oomfs, if I DM you asking for your mailing address, it’s because your hair is fried beyond belief and I’m sending you a bottle of K18 to rescue you, because you’re too pretty for that

@ok_bishh Nice I had no idea Saltair had hair products now! You lost me at wash at night and air dry though 🫠 when my hair was this long, it took like 16 hours to air dry

@LadyVoldemort09 I use Kitsch’s hair and scalp oil before washing my hair, then I use Saltair’s gloss between shampooing and conditioning AND THEN - I add a couple of drops of Saltair’s hair oil after I towel dry my hair. I wash my hair @ night and let air dry. Makes a huge difference!