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I stopped trying to make content and stopped working on vtuber models because mentally I'm over life. Emotionally, I'm unavailable, but there are many things that make me feel better and I truly love and want someone who genuinely loves me. Physically, I am doing my best to lose more weight per doctor's orders while eating 2-3 meals a day, but I never have energy to exercise or even wake up. Sleep is beyond repairable at this point. Taking care of myself is way too hard now. Financially, I'm so broke I owe my bank every month and can't afford groceries. This is my life, and no matter how much I tried to do "better" and do everything the doctors told me, it's never enough to drag me out of this pit I've been in for over a decade.
At this point I'm just existing, trying to find a reason to hold on and hoping for a better life.
😮💨
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