Donald J. Lannister

Why is everyone so fixated on my hands when there's literally a man named Littlefinger in the public eye? @PowerfulPetyr #MakeWesterosGreat

I honestly have no idea who @SerEdmure_Tully is. Clearly a small-timer. Probably a eunuch. Sad.

Hearing that lowlife @Arya_No1 wants me dead. It's going to take more than a toy sword and a man named Jaqen to take me down. See polls.

Hearing pathetic lapdog @SerJorahBear is back in Westeros. If I were him I would've sealed the deal w Khaleesi before the eggs hatched.

Isn't @Queen_Cersei a knockout? Hell, if she weren't my daughter I'd probably ask her out myself. Megyn Kelly is not attractive, by the way.

If @King_Stannis makes it to the throne we'll all be speaking Dothraki in 3 years. Also has a strange fascination with leeches I'm told.

Moron @BeautyBrienne now attacking me in the media - if she were better at attacking in real life maybe @Renly_B would still be alive.

If I were @StarkCatelyn @KingRobb_Stark I would've seen it coming. Only losers get ambushed at a wedding. Winners send gifts and stay home.

Loser @WargoftheNorth spends his time falling out of windows and dreaming about three-eyed birds. Zero leadership experience.

Lightweight @numbscully has been taking shots at me on Twitter. Polls showing he has less than a 12% chance at the Iron Throne. Sad really.