Theo Lariat

Tight end to the season. #ISFLsim

Taking possession of the new place tomorrow morning! #ISFLsim

Game day is best day #ISFLsim

Recently realized I could be using Ted Lasso gifs for reactions and stuff since that's who I chose for my render. I've been drastically underutilizing this idea. Prepare to have the game changed. #ISFLsim

No interceptions for me last night, but I got 3 PDs last night, which is 300% more than the previous 8 weeks combined. Stats are weird. #ISFLsim

Looking forward to getting my career first interception tonight. (Is this how The Secret works? am I Secreting?) #ISFLsim

Weather is amazing, let's all go outside! (unless the weather isn't amazing where you are, I guess) - there is a 100% chance of me drinking beers on the back patio tonight. This is a football tweet. #ISFLsim

Really excited to beef up a bit more, these ISFL receivers are no joke! #ISFLsim

@RealCobCorning Looking green as hell, I’ll be really curious to see how the final product looks! #ISFLsim

Dandelion wine experiments. Lemon and orange chunks vs juice and zest #ISFLsim

Happy Friday, simulated friends! I hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend. #ISFLsim

@RealCobCorning Cornibalism confirmed

Corn bred and corn fed #ISFLsim

Just pulled a nose hair and it made my eyes water. Anyone have good suggestions for a nose hair trimmer? Why am I using a sim football league twitter account to get recommendations on mens grooming products? #ISFLsim

Dot football best football. #ISFLsim

@RealCobCorning Make sure that all of your players eat three or four cheese steaks before you take the field. It's tradition. #ISFLsim

I'm being told that we're actually going there to play football. That's fine too #ISFLsim

We're off to philly to get some cheese steaks #ISFLsim

Let's just pull up the ol' stat sheet and see how I did... *checks box scores* ...let's just put that away and not look at it again all season. #ISFLsim

Spent the weekend painting and laying floors in my basement. Hopefully that doesn't have any impact on my performance on the field. #ISFLsim

Here’s a Remy pic in lieu of a good tweet. #ISFLsim

Took my shoes off, sitting cross-legged in an office chair. My socks smell like... paint? What? Is this athlete's foot? #ISFLsim

Week two is in the books. That's all I'm willing to say about that. #ISFLsim

@RealCobCorning I'm adding *both* tackles that I made in week 1 to my highlight reel. Celebrating the little victories here. #ISFLsim

Happy to be back on the field and stopping people from moving the ball #ISFLsim