nathan vojance

@CovinoandRich why is @robinthicke dressed like beetle juice? #robinjuice

I love people who wear Tool t-shirts, so u know they are a tool before I talk to them

Perfect name for a royal baby: king

Just got cut off by a lady with a "god listens" bumper sticker. I hope he hears me screaming at you.

Glad to see Tara Reid getting done work. #Sharknado

Sharknado! Worst/best movie ever. Alcohol strongly advised

Q- Why are French guys such pussies? A- They don't use body was, they use gel douche.

The Starbucks lady is a ho. Every time I see her she has her legs behind her head

With the success of fortune cookies I wanna make common sense cookies: don drown puppies

Since jan 2000, 3050 people have died in terrorist attacks. 600,000 people of heart disease every year. NSA should listen to Domino's calls.

Babies are just human veal

How many pianos did Liberace have? I don't know but he had organs out the ass.

All the people that work at mens wearhouse are ass holes.

@randallkaye that wasn't your motto last night

@randallkaye you must be reading the bible

To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift. -Steve Prefontaine

@randallkaye I think they have a song about brown eyed girls. It's called brown eyed girl by van Morrison

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Mahatma Gandhi

Just saw a one legged man riding a bicycle. #rough

@CovinoandRich I have to admit that I thought the first gay player would come from baseball were the main positions a pitchers and catchers