Lauren

last night at bullpen a girl came into the bathroom & bends down to my level & goes "now whooo are you? you're a cute little elf"

Y’all cyberattack everything but student loans and it’s so annoying. Focus.

@brucelapoint CAAAAAUUUTTTEEE

The best way to solve Covid is to turn it into some sort of game where the state with the lowest cases each week gets a pizza party or some shit. This unfortunately would work really well.

@candaceee22 @Haley_weeksss Lol

@candaceee22 LOL 🤷🏻‍♀️

@brucelapoint @Evanmyers220 lol

@brucelapoint You probably got some of the random bruises from a coffee table

I refrained from petting a service dog at SPAC I should get a medal

@kei_cro @courtneycasey2 That sounds like the greatest idea

Hi you’ve reached Courtney. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m too busy trying to convince Tyler not to wear jorts to a nice dinner.

Pizza Hut doesn’t deliver to my location....SOS

So good you’ll scream. #SharkWeek starts Sunday, July 28 on @Discovery.

Me when I go to someone’s house for the first time and they have a pet:

@Haley_weeksss The difference is I like red velvet and I don’t like chocolate

My niece loves some @Beyonce

This is me

I don’t think I’m ready to hear live action Simba tell Mufasa to wake up

Sorry mom