Lenslinger

Some of y’all have never worked all day to make a person you don’t like very much look like an expert on a subject neither of you know much about and it shows.

Feeling’ cute, might tweak a few photogs’ schedules, figure out some sports coverage, fix an MMJ’s microphone and quietly reflect on my once adventurous TV News career. Happy Friday!

Dynamic Duos: Reporters And Photographers - Behind The Lens youtu.be/KF9ZYfwiskg?si… via @YouTube

Went to a new restaurant the other day. On the wall, a TV showed the newscast of another local station. The top story was an amalgamation of floating wide shots, held together by random jump cuts. The second was a string of talking heads, most unfocused. Ruined the whole meal.

“OK, in the next News Olympics event, crews will spread out in the city, thwart the ruling class, lift up the sick and shine a righteous light on pockets of resistance! I’m kidding. Slap a look-live on last night’s package and get outta here. We’re de-lousing the parking lot.”

Me in 1989: “I just want one of those new betacams, learn the long end of the lens, figure out that shutter thing they do with the chopper blades...” Me Today: "See if any bystanders can shoot video of the space aliens with their phones! Make sure they sign releases!"

You meet some real fruits in this business. Or maybe he's a vegetable. I dunno. We didn't talk politics.

The FULL episode of Behind The Lens featuring Stephen Lynch airs NEXT week. For now, here's a clip in which we talk about how much we both enjoyed our time at FOX8 WGHP-TV...

A recent study shows more journalists than ever are suffering “burn-out”. Hmmm... I’ve spent three decades arriving early, doubling back, chasing sound and making slot remember my name. I ain’t had time to burn-out

LATER THIS WEEK on Behind the Lens, we go one on one with local TV News photog turned NFL Ninja Stephen Lynch. Here's a clip...

THIS JUST IN: Two dimensional TV News Reporter Harvey Highstep seriously hurt by passing traffic in what's being called an "attempted selfie incident". Veteran Photog Bobby Ballcap escaped injury, but has been reassigned to weekend overnights for good measure. Clip Art at 11.

On his 2003 debut CD, the artist now known as Lenslinger aims, frames and double-punches. Although certain of his material, his lack of musicianship mars any attempt at Screamo, Death Metal, Trip Hop and, worst of all, throat yodeling. This guy should write tweets or something.

FACT: the average TV news photographer can show you more murder scene video than they can probably remember shooting. So can the above average photogs, but they’d much rather show you their four minute opus on that feral cat rodeo that came through town last year. Settle in.

Behold… Photogifus Wanderous. A relatively recent addition to the official phylum. Known for its hunched back, shorn skull and surly demeanor, the skilled gatherer lives for the - HUH? It’s just Louisiana lenslinger Rick Portier, breaking’ the rules? Nothing new there…

THRILLED to announce I just got voted TV News Photog most likely to overshare either some bitter distillation of modern media or another rambling parable about growing up unathletic in the South during the '70's. No wonder they never ask me to do mic checks.

77% of television news photojournalism is correctly guessing which outfit won't get you kicked out of the Governor's office but will avoid too much chafing on, say, an escaped aardvark hunt. The rest is just point and shoot.

September, 1982. Local TV News photographer Bob Van Tieghem rips through time-space continuum, glimpses future, quickly retreats and never once mentions it to anyone… Who’d believe him, anyway?

This Week on BEHIND THE LENS – something most TV News Photogs dread the most – shooting a wedding! Maybe it's just me. Full Episode Coming Monday...

“Why yes, Mr. PR guy, I'd LOVE to bring the pacing of this highly visual story to a channel-flipping halt with a sound bite from your CEO! Can we do the interview in your company’s incredibly cramped conference room?”

Ever look down during a dream and see all this crap at your feet? Maybe it’s just me.