lewis

(DMing a mutual) hey man I'm imagining Dracula saying your latest tweet and it's freaking me out. Could you possibly delete it

Toy Story 1, Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3

My attempt to beat the speed reading world record ended in failure when I lost focus and found myself rereading the same sentence 8,000 times

(Wallace 3 months after starting to notice there are giant fingerprints on everything and suffering a nervous breakdown) it's finally ready Gromit lad. My new Deicide-o-matic is designed to find and kill God

(guy who doesn't know you can turn calculators upside down) hey man look at this... I've put in 58008, right. Now stand on your head real quick

JACOB COLLIER: and violins, could I get a pizzicato d, then up to g, yeah that's nice. flutes keep those quavers going. And piano, could I have a trill on your lowest b flat Me: (closing piano lid) no sorry Jacob JC: a trill on the b flat please piano Me: no Jacob I won't do it

LOUIS THEROUX: (shouting at ceiling) Hi Wallace, it's Louis. Are you coming down? V.O.: I'd been told to expect the unexpected when Wallace came down for breakfast. WALLACE: Be there in a minute! Enjoy the show! LOUIS: (to Gromit) Is this normal?

Hello. I'm tentatively returning to this site after an almost 5 year break. During that time I have thought of 11 tweets, which I will be posting over the next few days, probably in order from best to worst. Thank you

@nibiru_TRUTH Happy birthday Cameron!!

I cant believe Im finally 17 and as famous as a world wide superstar!❤️🌎

Gordon ramsay: excuse me darling. what's going on back there Waitress: the uhh chef is Bigfoot Gordon: the chef is Bigfoot? Waitress: correct, the chef is Bigfoot Gordon: fuck me. Ok darling thank you (Waitress leaves) Gordon: the chef's fucking Bigfoot. Wow. Ok. Fuck me. Wow

@TDJables they don't they're just being nice

(Gordon ramsay finding out the chef is Bigfoot) oh fuck me, the chef's fucking Bigfoot. for fucks saaake

@Lewiswbt1 @darth_erogenous

@harleybaghdad @darth_erogenous I'm in awe

@harleybaghdad @darth_erogenous Don't want to push my luck but I'd like to humbly submit this one for a dramatic reading too twitter.com/Lewiswbt1/stat…

@darth_erogenous @Lewiswbt1

@harleybaghdad @darth_erogenous Incredible

@LaloSoCal I mean Gordon Angry-That-Bigfoot's-the-Chef Ramsay

this pasta is fuckign overdone. its become abstract like love- gordon ramsay