k@alfkkifine
The internet constantly tells women that men are terrible listeners because the second a woman starts venting about her day, the man immediately interrupts to offer a logical solution. We are taught to view this as him being dismissive, emotionally unintelligent, or invalidating our feelings.
The strict, unpopular truth is that to a man, fixing the problem is his absolute highest, most desperate form of empathy.
Women vent to connect; we want our partner to just sit in the dark with us and validate the emotion. But men are hardwired to view the woman they love being in distress as an active threat. When he immediately offers a spreadsheet, a strategy, or a solution to your problem, he isn't trying to silence you. His brain has recognized that something in the world is hurting his partner, and his immediate, visceral instinct is to assassinate the thing causing you pain.
We constantly shame men for "not just listening," completely ignoring the fact that his attempt to fix your life is his most profound declaration of love.
