Michael

@missellabell descriptive not prescriptive, that's what they taught me at arts :)

this is it, this is my life, most likely never getting better, most likely getting much worse

i think my life amounts to minimizing pain

i do all this stuff to stay alive and make things easier for myself but really there's no point and i know it, just have to live with it

@cloxic wow i would never block you

every contact with family makes me suicidal

REPORTER: you've written literally dozens of murders- AGATHA CHRISTIE: look at these adorable llamas REPORTER: how can you sleep at night AGATHA: they're so fluffy :) :)

@TheJennifferr thanks

i had to give up on a lot of ideas such as: coming across as normal, successful, not creepy

no one read it, no once cares, but it was funny and i said it

i feel bad when people don't want to talk to me but i really enjoy saying everything that's on my mind

the important thing (speaking to myself here) is not to try then i won't be too disappointed, i just have to approach this like any other situation where it's forced upon me by God's fury

i always think hmm i must be doing something wrong since i don't have friends and then i'm like lol i'm doing everything wrong

i've talked to thousands of people online, one or two still don't have me blocked, i'd say that's a win

but now i've realized that it's not that easy to avoid people completely so i'm trying to see if i can find people who are ok with suicidal losers

everyone always gave me a hard time about being a suicidal loser, school, uni, family and it made me avoid people and want to sleep till i die

once a girl wrote to me "you're scary" and then muted me so that i wouldn't be able to ask why etc, it was kind of nice

i'm just going to be like "hey guys i'm a suicidal loser want me to leave?" and come what may

normally i'd try to sleep through life but just this once i'm going to try to do something with sleep a backup plan