lisa bizzle

Hi everyone! I made a COVID-19 activity book! It has some fun activities to distract you and also a whole section on stress management! amazon.com/COVID-19-Activ…

like an mlm but I’m recruiting you to buy land with me so we can start a commune

hi dog perverts! please enjoy my new son:

@usedwigs Thank you! She’s the best

@Lisa_Bizzle awwww... what a little beauty! congrats!

Please meet Bean! She was surrendered to the SPCA twice and now she’s stuck with me forever!!

@TheFunkyBunch4 🙏 😩

my dog died last month and milf manor has been the only thing so far that’s made me experience any feeling other than sadness. no further questions.

@murrman5 I’m sorry. I recently lost my best friend too if you ever want to cry together. I’ve mostly been venting to a lady named Diane on a canine kidney disease forum. It all sucks ass (except Diane, she’s great)

after nine loving years Ellie has seen enough. the house is a lot less cute today.

@OnlineAlison Lol even better

@OnlineAlison Looks like it might be a type of morel or a false morel, if you cut it in half you can see

using my bird watching app to identify which birds are shitting on my car so I can learn how to to get my revenge

hi you guys my little best friend is 16 years old today!!!!!!!!

@0_1_to_Flack that’s too many cracker

@Lisa_Bizzle 12 sleeves?

crackers are a dinner if you eat 12 of them

@AtOm_twelve I DONT THINK SO

@Lisa_Bizzle wait. can we do this with 12 funny bones too?

@ScottKeenan27 thank you Scott, this was the answer I was looking for

@Lisa_Bizzle "The Keg murdered my parents, and now I fight crime in my pyjamas because I never dealt with the trauma. One day I'll stop The Keg for good." Then you gotta squeeze a wine glass until it breaks. She'll totes remember this answer, and won't ask you again.

every time I run into one of my neighbors she asks me “do you like the keg?” and I say “I don’t really have an opinion about the keg” and then she tells me she’s not a huge fan of their steak and I don’t know how to break this unhealthy cycle we’ve created

@shawnbristow I'm going to try liking the keg next time and if this backfires on me I'm going to become v hostile

@Lisa_Bizzle Sounds like she’s not too keen on the Keg, so you might be safe

oh shit oh fuck

someone at my gym tried to hug me and my instinct was to punch their throat which means my integration back into society is going really well thx!!!