Scratchy Dick's Big Slut Crab Fuck Shack

@thetrailerqueen This post is epic bacon fr

Tbh Gen Z actually is old enough to recall 2012 internet culture. You guys just think Gen Z means 10 years old for some reason

@thetrailerqueen There are skinny white twinks everywhere for those with the eyes to see

Every day you see a guy who could just as easily be Timothee Chalamet and you just have to be like ok cool

@thetrailerqueen Thoughts on real emergencies during a date?

the disappointment of someone faking an emergency during a date is not as powerful as the satisfaction of getting the “i just wasn’t feeling it” text after & knowing you were right that it was a fake emergency (some insight into why people fake emergencies on dates with me)

@thetrailerqueen Like starting a lawn mower

i wrongly assumed an IUD removal was some kind of sophisticated process but i’m here at planned parenthood learning they literally just grab it by the strings and yank it out of your living body

@SamIsNotOff Gay Cowboy/Racist Cowboy DMZ

The only reason Oklahoma is like that is to keep Texas and Colorado from touching

@vanillaopinions Addicted to losing party

the 2028 election if kamala is the nominee

@thetrailerqueen Beware the false hater, the snake in the garden. Beware his forked tongue, condemning true righteous haterism in favor of gossip. Let his treachery not sway you from the divine light of being a Real Hater.

sick of hater entrapment. don’t tell me you’re a hater out of one side of your mouth if you’re gonna high road me out the other side as soon as i unleash the hate

Thinking of posting on Facebook for the first time in years just to mark myself safe from Hurricane Milton

My boss is texting me every day to ask if I have any updates on my resignation. He wants my attention soooo bad

Literally always saying this

Normally working 48 hours in 4 days would give you 8 hours of overtime, except if you work over the weekend, when a special fairy known as "Pay Period" shows up, during which time your employer gets to not pay you for working more than you are contracted to. Normal workplace.

If I meet a genie my first wish would be to be able to take $20 out of any charity I want. Salvation army? Give me 20 bucks. TERFS with gofundmes? Pay up. Republican campaign PACs? Gimme a Jackson. I wouldn't even need the other two wishes

For some reason I don't believe you

I go to work every day and open all the sketchy emails I can because I want to get phished sooooo bad and it makes my managers really angry but they can't fire me because I gave the IRS access to my job's payroll information (the company has been so incredibly hacked)

Nervously googling "which ear is the gay ear" outside of a piercing studio before walking in and getting my dick pierced

@Misfitpariah181 This post was made in pure adoration for the musical wonder that is ABBA, don't get it twisted

@Litsponge Gimme, gimme, gimme is a fucking treasure and I will not stand idle while you stand there besmirching ABBA!!!! I'll throw hands, Son!!!!

Oh, hit song "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" By Swedish musical group ABBA, we're really in it now 😮‍💨

Not to sound like an old cunt but most young people's inability to endure silence while performing literally any task is probably an indicator that something (not saying what) might be negatively affecting our attention span

Periodically shouting "Glory to the DPRK" in my neighborhood just to piss of the white lady that lives across the street from me