Lowell Benjamin

Unexpectedly, I got an error message from my color printer. It was totally out of the blue.

There’s no good way to pronounce Weiner.

For Lent, I’m giving up writing jokes about Lent.

My doctor spreads gossip about his patients. He’s a rumortologist.

My daughter won’t eat vegetables. I just want her to give peas a chance.

My 98-year-old neighbor was buried with her favorite jigsaw puzzle. May she rest in pieces.

Chuck Norris conducted his own funeral.

There’s a huge difference between a diver and a diva. Unless you have a strong New York accent.

My parents wanted to give my brother a nickname. So they named him Nick.

Who decided to call it cow biology instead of graze anatomy?

My wife’s friend said she caught me in infidelity. I was in Fidelity.

At Chuck Norris’s funeral, keep your distance from the casket. Unless you want his foot to the face.

After hearing Chuck Norris died, Jake Paul challenged him to a fight. Chuck accepted.

Chuck Norris didn’t die. He’s just MISSING IN ACTION.

Chuck Norris died. Just kidding - Death did.

Whose idea was it to call it a “grief group” instead of “mourning persons”?

My dad was larger than life. Then he started Ozempic.

THE NEWS: Botswana ME: Bots wanna what?

Wedding vows are like Miranda rights. Everything you say will be used against you.

Jeffrey Tambor is short for Jeffrey Tambourine.

My doctor gave me a cheaper alternative to Ozempic: eat less