LSkii
982 posts


This year I finally stopped pushing everything down.
For a long time I buried how I felt and used over-the-top, vulgar jokes as a coping mechanism. Stuff that happened in my life warped how I saw things, and the people I had around me at the time definitely didn’t help. My view of others got skewed, and if I ever made anyone feel like shit because of that, I’m genuinely sorry — it was never my intention.
There’s also some trauma in my past that I’ve only shared with a few very close friends. I won’t go into details, because I’ve learned the hard way that some people will use that against you — especially when you’re masking pain with humour. But opening up privately, in safe spaces, made more of a difference than I ever expected. Carrying it alone was doing real damage.
RuneFest was a massive eye-opener for me. I spent a lot of that event forcing myself to take substances just to get through my anxiety. And the scary part is, it didn’t matter how much I took — it didn’t help. When the drugs don’t work and you’re still pushing everything down, it really forces you to confront the fact that something deeper is going on.
I know talking openly about drugs is taboo, and I know it’s “off-brand” and could affect sponsors or future deals. But honestly, spreading awareness and being real about this matters more to me than any money I’d lose from brand deals. These are conversations that need to happen, because pretending everything’s fine helps no one.
I’ve spent this year actually working on myself. My life, my health, my weight, and what I value. I started therapy. I was diagnosed with ADHD previously, and I’m still understanding myself more every day — and my therapist believes I may also have undiagnosed autism… so the RuneScape causes autism theory might be true after all.
It’s been eye-opening and honestly necessary. I’ve always been a go-happy guy, I just got lost for a bit.
If you’re struggling in life, don’t accept it. You don’t have to struggle alone. Everyone is going through the same shit in different ways, and there are so many resources out there that can help — you just have to find what works for you.
I also know my streams and content took a bit of a back seat while I got my head right. That was a conscious choice. I wanted to come back happier, more present, enjoying the vibe again — and not letting behaviour slide or go unnoticed, including my own. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m proud of the work I’ve put in.
I felt like it would be nice to share a bit of me behind the scenes, regardless of what the internet warriors will think.
The passing of my grandad really fucked me up because xmas used to be amazing when he was around and this year was the first year I could just really look back and appreciate him.
I couldn't do that before it hurt too much, times a healer, it sounds so cliché but it's true.
Didn’t ask? Not reading that? Alllll good.
But for the ones who are in touch with their emotions — this one’s for you
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Sleeping torture stream where subs play loud sounds, how fun this is going to be 🙃
kick.com/GingerBeardie

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@Syndicate Brother, is what it is! Life is too short to worry.. so make the most of it! :D
We appreciate all the efforts! When it comes it comes!
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@virginmedia i dced at bandos in max gear, are you going to reimburse me if I log on and I’m dead?
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@GingerBeardie @virginmedia Reimburse Max Gear..
Reimburse Loss of Earnings.
Plus 3 months free broadband.
Shocking Service to the loyal customers.
#BaldBeardieCult
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INSANE SPONSORSHIP TODAY!
No Man's Sky presents you with a galaxy to explore, filled with unique planets and lifeforms, and constant danger and action in an infinite procedurally generated universe! Let's play and see what it's all about! #AD
Twitch.tv/gingerbeardie

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@ProSyndicate @CallofDuty It's cool bro! You're Still a lit tit mah friend!
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@DJEZOfficial is spilling some absolute filth tonight on @KissFMUK jesus!!!
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@KSIOlajidebt @ZerkaaHD can't beat a 10 million coin player on fifa lads!!
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