MortyBets

When you “make the balance even” on a longshot and it hits… kill myself

Will #ufcmiami be the first week ever that i go back to back on the cycle parlay?

@StephieSmallls NAP HEARD

already time for a nap

The Barbosa win feels dirty but we take it

@BookitWithTrent Bro is the worst bettor to exist

Illinois ML is a 10u mortal mega max. Arizona is also a 10u mortal mega max. That’s a 2-0 card, a +20u typa day.

@StephieSmallls You mean adderall

i need a zofran stat

@StephieSmallls HAHAHAHAHAHA

this is like watching your partner fuck someone else

@StephieSmallls What bar?

the guys next to me at the bar bet on me being married or single

@StephieSmallls Yooooo this goes hard

I found a $5 scratcher for $40K, who wants one?

@MrsPineappleGS Nice tits

Weekend

BEAR THE FUCK DOWN

@TheUFCGirl @Playbook

🥊UFC Round 1 Spread Parlay🥊 4 Legs All Round 1 +868 $100-$968💰 #UFCVegas115

@MLBHR @justicepicks Of fucking course

Shohei Ohtani - Los Angeles Dodgers (1) 3-run 401 feet +175

@gavinmchughh Bear down

The game of the century. Isn’t it sweet..

@BetWithAmy Tried to get saucy

nice

@BDunk975 Yeah I would

I got any followers in PHX / AZ area that wanna go to the Braves @ D-Backs game Thursday night?

@MattyBetss By KO, obviously

lol

@roflfights Most exercise that fat hippo has seen her whole life

Yooo, this might just be the wildest beatdown of 2026! 😳👀 Lil’ miss Red Hoodie got snatched out her crib, dragged down the stairs like it was WWE, and then caught a mean punch to the dome from Black Shirt Shorty! Somebody come get their girl—she got humbled quick! 💥🥊

@MeetLexiStone This is the year 😩

Let me distract you for a minute?

@chefsevenn $15

How much did I pay for this lunch? 🤣