Justin Lee@justindeanlee
The first time I abandoned a girlfriend in the mountains was an accident.
We had an argument about something trivial, and she decided to go off on her own for a bit to cool down. I insisted she stick to the trail, but she said she didn’t need me mansplaining how to find her way in the woods. So I dropped it. How does one manage to get lost on a mountainside, anyway? You just walk downhill until you hit a switchback or reach the valley. Common sense stuff.
Well, she managed it. When she didn’t turn up by nightfall, I contacted the ranger station and they set out to find her. By 1am, I got tired of waiting and drove home.
They called the next morning to say they’d found her in a makeshift den she’d dug beneath a deadfall. She was naked, gone completely feral, her face painted with menstrual blood. A ranger tried to wrap a blanket around her shoulders, and she bit a golf ball-sized gobbet of flesh from his shoulder. So they sedated her and took her straight to the nearest hospital.
That was three years ago and she still hasn’t recovered human language.
Needless to say, I acquired a taste for it. I’m up to a baker’s dozen now, not counting the one that found her way back to the car before I could drive off.
But you never forget your first. Sarah will always have a special place in my heart.
