Madelein Black

You’re looking at their following list, I’m looking at their Venmo

happy national girlfriend day to everyone who wishes i was their girlfriend!

I’m the password child, and don’t you forget it.

how come no one ever taught squirrels to look both ways before they cross the street?

the only good part about yoga is the nap time at the end

chances are i don’t think your baby is cute

my news years resolution for all the girls out there is to stop taking pics in groups like that

i’m at the point in life where anytime one of my friends posts a photo with their boyfriend my initial thought is that they got engaged

the stock market is just a glorified casino

i can’t explain it, but people take me more seriously in sweatpants

if people saw the way i spin around in my chair at work, they would think i’m the bosses daughter on take your child to work day or something

when people are megan fox for halloween im like, “oh so you think you’re hot?”

fries taste better when you you take them from someone else’s plate

The angry little face as the green beans get snapped. I've been laughing at this for an embarrassingly long time.

hey @Apple, please make a “mark as unread” option for imessage

i never got bullied in school, but i get bullied on the highway everyday

petition to ban single ply toilet paper

my biggest fear is that my cat jumps into the toilet and gets stuck

the best part about working from home is that i can cry and no one has to know

not me at the club checking my email