The Human Bidet

“@totalfratmove: 47 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard: ow.ly/Aaj3w by @JQWhiskeyGinger” @jslewis66 #14

@jslewis66 @hlewis002 why perform cunnalingus when you could perform #colonlingus ? #humanbidet #porcelainprince #pottymouth

Thanks to all of those who helped me cum out on top this weekend. @hlewis002 @jslewis66 #Hamptons2014 #BabyBird #AnalHygiene #Booooooooooook

@JimmyTatro fuck off and die slow. @jslewis66 @hlewis002 @fateaston7

#1: Each comma in your bank account adds an inch to your dick.

@fateaston7 @CTerman40 I can believe Sonic didn't make the list.

@meikelj who do you think wins tonight? Can't count out the Cats. #calipariforpresident

@BPVSTL #BallparkVillage #bud734 Katie give me something cool.

Grateful we didn't go to sonic because that would have made @fateaston7 no better than Booker T that no good son of a bitch. @CTerman40

@JohnCena let's grab a beer after breakfast.

The Branson Bomber is #bransonbound

#TBT to last week when I had my anal virginity...#jailbait #HeavenBehindBars

Could really go for two pieces of stale white bread and a slice of bologna. I'm having jail withdrawal. #takemeback #HeavenBehindBars

Things scarier than being in jail...@Pharrell at #Oscars2014

Things better than being in jail.... #Oscars2014

“@FatMattAdams: I'm such a patriot I even skipped my Canadian bacon this morning. USA USA USA #morebacon #TeamUSA #Olympics2014”

#tbt to yesterday when @GenghisCon27 couldn't drink alcohol. Happy birthday you filthy animal.

@ChickfilA Who says Sundays a day of rest? Just did my first sit up of 2014 & down to 299! Wish you were open to celebrate #HardWorkPaysOff

Damn I finished all my valentines day chocolate. I could really go for another handful of snickers... Back above 300

Bacon burger and and deep fried bacon fries...299