mount ennui

thank you, friend

YEAH. WE DID.

we had a cool thing for a minute

for those of you still here, know that I love you

there are a lot of people who left years ago, people who I will never see this. know that I love you

and maybe that's all I wanted

and I know for a brief moment, I was a bright, weird little flash of light in some people's memories

YEAH, I LOVE THEM TOO

and I met a lot of people I really care for

but I came here to be like Richard and Regis, and I think I did that.

yeah, that's a factor too.

AND YOU REALLY HAVEN'T BEEN THAT GREAT SINCE, LIKE, 2014? DEFINITELY NEVER AS GOOD AS 2012.

but tbh, I think this is a logical place to end. my life is very different from when this began.

I dip into the pain to see the people I love, but each time it's harder and harder

there's little left here but pain. the few people I love who are still here are drowned out by the constant din of *gestures broadly* all this

BUT WHY NOW?

it's been almost 11 years. 11 of the most fucked up, mind bending years of my life. how am I supposed to stay the same through that?

I have, but what's surprising about that? everyone changes.

YOU'VE CHANGED

that takes time. I never have time.