Madeleine Laing

Not a Tiger at all: A Review of Krissy Kneen's "Wintering", by Madeleine Laing ping: @krissykneen @Madeleinekl @text_publishing ow.ly/PyGB30mymwH

Not to mention they were cooking for Prince Charles. Like fuck. Yuck yuck yuck.

I know I’m the only ding dong still watching @masterchefau but last night they managed to do a whole episode around native foods without mentioning indigenous Australians ONCE! Disgusting shit!

Steve: cops who found that golden state killer guy using his family’s dna must have finally watched ‘Who shot Mr Burns’.

Breakthrough with my new coworker today as we both agreed salad dressing was ‘mad good’.

@samga I really thought you were talking about The Shape Of Water until ten minutes ago when I started watching Annihilation.

Confusing that people have white sheets now because you can eat in bed like three times a day but only fuck twice a month, biologically.

This white boy band at the night markets has everything; cover of hey ya, changing pronoun in stormy weather from ‘man’ to ‘girl’, $3000 guitars.

I'd like the hot yoga a lot more if I didn't have the ability to distinguish ball sweat by smell.

You: Wow ‘Torn’ is a cover Me: all Antarctic exploration is a cover for maintaining still-alive Hitler’s nazi alien research centre.

In hindsight I might not have tried to big dog everyone in my first bikram yoga class by going '40 degrees?? I'm from BRISBANE, that's BRISK might bring a CARDIGAN ha ha ha' if I'd known I was gonna throw up in the bin halfway through.

Still waiting for one thinkpeice to acknowledge ‘youse’ as a gender neutral term, you classist cunts!

At the bottle shop - Steve: this is the last six pack I'm gonna buy. Me: ... oh right well I guess I support your deci- Steve: Cases only from now on!

@samga OH FUCK YEAH I'VE ALREADY SEEN SO MANY GOOD GRAVE YARDS DOWN HERE.

work year can't end until you've screamed 'run me THE FUCK OVER' at a car that beeps at you to hurry up while you're crossing the street

These women admired me, and I'm sorry I granted their greatest wish by taking my extremely talented dick out in front of them. I should've waited until it was their birthday, and I apologize for that.

Old hero: Mum New hero: boss at my temp job who keeps a 6pack of room temp vanilla Pepsi maxes on her desk and drinks them all one by one every day.

"Police are liaising with parents who have been arriving at Kangaroo Point to collect their children."

Finally, a gang for me, someone with $70 and the inability to skateboard msn.com/en-au/news/aus…

@samga This has made my house a real fucking disco situation