Male Jokes

"No woman can keep a man from cheating if it's in his nature to cheat! No other woman's to blame on your man cheating either, HE chose to!"

"I'm not lying, I'm just making the story better."

Sex without love is just exercise.

Shower = 2% Wash Body | 3% Wash Hair | 95% Contemplate Life.

Mornings are a lot like getting kicked in the balls.

"When you write misspelled backwards, it's misspelled."

"*At home* Me: “I want to go out, I want friends.“ *Out* “I want to go home, I hate people.“"

0 Fucks Given 100% of the time.

I’m about to sleep the shit outta this bed.

"No matter how hard you try, some people will never change."

Lil Wayne = 2% black 98% tattoos.

I know my worth... I refuse to settle.. I'm happy being single until I get what I truly want & deserve..

"Pool party at my house, bring your own pool."

It looks like someone had a big bowl of bitchflakes today.

"Bro, if she is a Democrat she is DTF."

"That moment when you say, “Just Kidding“ but you’re actually dead serious."

Shout out to all the plumbers going through shit

I would enjoy work if there weren’t any other humans involved.

Music restores focus and strengthens concentration.

You're not popular. Your vagina is.