mallory rice

sorry can’t hang out it’s too humid

@Bre_positive17 🙏🏼 🎣 will never reveal where the trophy trout reside (bc i still can’t find them)

PSA: @lindsaydevon is the real deal. i regularly think about sentences of hers that i read 7-10 years ago. pre! order!

now that i know my pilates instructor used to live in richard brautigan’s house (“bullet holes all over the place from when he’d get drunk and try to shoot the wall clock”), i am in the best shape of my life

(ew to my phrasing not coco obviously who is 10/10 in every way)

asked the guy watching tennis next to me at airport bar if he’s “on team gauff” (ew) and he responded “yeah, i’m addicted to golf” and now we’re just kinda doing our own things

this has been my “two tweets of 2022” see you next year xoxo

i know everyone cries on planes, but multiple times during a Tony Hawk documentary?… takes a special gal 💅🏼

@harlingross The most purple smoothie

@Mallory_Rice Omg

most of the time residing in a small montana hotel lives up to the fantasy, other times your big, bearded dog bolts through the lobby and knocks a smoothie out of your hand, into the air, and onto an irreplaceable piano

dog walker left a note to say that ted "has a singular energy that seems to call out to the world" and, also, he peed

Thanks so much, Anna!

My distinct pleasure!

For the May issue of @Cosmopolitan, I wrote about the (would be? will be? has-been?) Kanye Economy in Wyoming: bit.ly/3tHOE5A

fly fishing instructor advised me to be more assertive, generally, after i allowed him to call me mary/mariam 5-7 times

@ForWyo Hi - I’m a writer working on a story about Wyoming and I’d love to include your voice. Can you DM me for details?

@AbbeyMaxbauer this was a great day

ended up using the paper towels and a piece of graph paper, then found two of the three tape measures in my drill bag (the next step). one tape measure still at large

while looking for my three tape measures i found four rolls of paper towels leftover from March, so i’ll just use those as new units of measurement if no one responds thank you x

i used to have two too-many tape measures (so, three total) and suddenly i have none, so i redownloaded Twitter to tell you and ask if anyone has seen or borrowed them

@chanelinezp this is the only tweet I see

I know there’s a lot happening right now and nobody will see this tweet but I just can’t stop wondering if Harry Styles is watching ‘Girlfriends’ on Netflix. Ok goodbye!