Chris Fernandez

Ah yes two days of bar hopping. Tell me you don’t know your own kid without telling me you don’t know your own kid.

@nut_history He left Dayton, Ohio, with two very bad knees and a dream of becoming a major-league baseball player.

Without telling me his full name - his number, his nickname, or the team he's played for, try to describe me who you're all-time favourite baseball player is.

Note to self: Roll out the logo rebrand BEFORE you burn it into your AI promotional videos, not two days AFTER. 🤦‍♂️

Yuengling and cash. Found your happy place.

I wanted to think that the deep facial lines, saggy jowls, and receding hairline was a result of guilt and the heaviness of moral betrayal. But it looks like it might just be the booze.

The excess alcohol consumption lately fills in a lot of the “what are you thinking with this clown?”… it also explains the rapid aging.

“The rest of time” hits different when one is over 60, morbidly obese, and prone to accidents as a result of acute stupidity. Don’t worry Red Head, you’ll be in the will.

It is finished.

Of course you’re a Wolverine stacker. Is it possible for you to be more of a stereotype than you already are? You really know how to pick a winner, Red Head.

Also, AI could have been asked to remove the medical alert necklace. You know, to make you seem less fragile and elderly.

AI is a powerful tool for making normal people look smarter, more articulate, and more attractive. But it’s not a miracle worker, Boss. #gofranchise

Some soulless people Diddle around with the hearts of those who trust them. And then they evolve into enablers, cheerleaders and flying monkeys for others who covet their amoral lifestyle… 💜✨💜

Good thing those dogs needed to be taken care of tonight. Otherwise it could have been an awkward phone call in Ocoee.

Mr. Dombrowski, Alex Cora is on Line 2…

Ah yes, Yuengling in a souvenir shirt from a sporting event. Might as well do a 180° on everything you despised, right?

@BBGreatMoments 🥑

Name a reliever who made you nervous every single time he entered a game.

Is there a store that sells matching oversized braided chain necklaces and bracelets for men? Asking for a Boss. Something along the lines of the eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap?

Keep smiling like you both won the lottery with each other. If this is your prize, then you truly don’t know how valuable the life you walked away from really was. You are a joke, a liar, and a cheater. Enjoy your little slice of Hillbilly Heaven, Madame President Ride or Die.

Our children - you know, the intelligent ones who possess all of their teeth and don’t get wasted six nights a week - know where home is. And it isn’t at your second floor walk up condo. So please, move. They’re already detaching from you. You’ve chosen so poorly, Red Head.

Hey Step Grammy, how about you try to tear yourself away from the Boss’s redneck family and be present for your OWN children for a change? You always complained about feeling “abandoned”… well look at you now. Hypocrite. Absentee mother. Adulterer. Your kids feel it all.