Marc Fearns

Perfect Twitter bio right there.

.@MCRSanta Not the most dignified of arrivals.

@didsburygirl *wrong side

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise to any work colleagues who sat on the right side of me today. It appears I forgot to apply deodorant to that armpit this morning.

No.

Near, far, wherever you are... 😉 #OpeningCeremony

I would not like to see the Unlucky Tree.

Arrives three hours after you order it.

It's...

No.

Apparently it’s 9 years today since I discovered that adding googly eyes to the tap on a wine box makes it look like Shaun the Sheep.

She's 49. She had afternoon tequila.

can’t believe the guy on the left is moaning instead of celebrating the milestone progress of him and the guy on the right having 2.5 umbrellas per capita

Best magic trick ever.. 😂

@sssssarah Good thinking!

@MarcFearns I’m hoping now that I’ve said it, it definitely won’t happen.

Oh man. Germany are going to win the whole thing, aren’t they? #euro2024

@angrypiln 'I still have nightmares' says man who caravanned in Derbyshire.

nconscionable shitbags? nremitting spurt of effluent? nelectable tossers?

#OnThisDay 1977: Public celebrations for the Queen's Silver Jubilee began. In May that year, Nationwide held a song contest for the public's best musical offerings to mark the occasion. In BBC Archive's humble opinion, the pick of the bunch was from Manchester.

Nearly a great street name.

Now this *is* a niche business.

@angrypiln It's uncanny.