Marc.Raving.Mad.

There are many great things about Toronto, but the stupidity from its politicians is suffocating. I feel genuinely bad for people who are from here, they deserve so much better. But I don't. I moved here voluntarily. As a grown-ass adult. From Vancouver. Because I am an idiot.

I just realized that 1996 was 30 years ago. Time can burn in Hell.

Look, I'm not the world's biggest U2 fans. But if you're asking me what's the best song on their 1991 album Achtung Baby, the only correct answer is "Acrobat". And don't even start with your "One" shit because you're wrong.

At the grocery store last week, they were playing "Out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply. And now I can't get that fucking song out of my head to save my goddamn life.

Once a year, I rent a carpet cleaner. And once a year, I am utterly terrified by the sheer volume of dirt that comes out of my carpets and upholsteries in my house.

January is the answer to the question "What if February was 11% longer, but with worse weather and no long weekends?"

Sorry, Netflix, I'm not buying the idea that millions of people woke up today and suddenly decided to make "Crocodile Dundee" the #6 most popular movie on your platform.

My greatest with for 2026 is that people will learn the difference between "less" and "fewer" so they stop grating on my last goddamn nerve.

This is your annual reminder that "Trading Places" is the best Christmas movie ever made.

This is your annual reminder that the best Christmas song is Good King Wenceslas and I don't want to hear any opinions to the contrary because I don't have time for stupidity.

Look, I'm old. But I know that I have to change with the times. So I'm trying to use em dashes, but I don't like it — not one bit. And don't even fucking start with your "You don't put spaces on either side of an em dash" bullshit because I don't have time for your stupidity.

One of these things is true: 1) My grocery store plays "What Kind of Man Would I Be?" by Chicago on a constant loop. 2) They know when I'm going to be there and play it then. I can't decide which is worse.

@OrbitStudios Jays fans can't point one pitching choice (however bizarre) when the team stranded so many runners, including loading the bases with no outs and coming away with nothing.

Having said this, the Jays fucked themselves by no-showing at home. Winning 2 of 3 in Seattle was good. They’re up against it, but rebound at home. Play games 1-2 vs the Yankees.

As a parent, nothing can prepare you for the first time you see your kid's hopes get crushed by a Toronto sports team. It's heartbreaking.

@TDotResident Bonus points for including it among your 8 CDs for $0.01.

@MarcRavingMad Straight from Columbia House

The art forms of music and fashion both reached their peak in Seattle in the 90s.

@ChrisEMorrison We're now within 3 months of Christmas. Don't say I didn't warn you.

This is your annual reminder that today marks 100 days until Christmas. Govern yourselves accordingly.

@UpfrontBricks Are you high?

@MarcRavingMad Are your decorations up yet?

To anyone who is considering having children. Yes, they will occasionally make choices that are exactly as stupid as the ones you made at that age, if not more so. And yes, there will be days when you just have to listen to Enya and pretend that the world doesn't exist.