Chetuya Math Chinagolum@Chetuyachinago
The ultimate goal of neocolonialism is to control a country without having to pay for the soldiers to occupy it.
The way you make this a reality is devastatingly simple: you create a local elite class that thinks exactly like you, shares your economic interests, and will ruthlessly protect your investments in the region.
Just as you make a soldier by starting from grueling morning drills and intensive physical training, to breaking down their civilian mindset so they understand the chain of command, to conditioning them to pull the trigger on command without asking questions, that’s exactly how you train the comprador elites in Nigeria.
You groom them to serve foreign corporate interests rather than lift a single finger for the common good of their own people.
You begin the conditioning early. At the secondary school level, you make sure their curriculum is crammed with the gospel of "free markets," the myth of the "invisible hand," and the absolute joke of "comparative advantage."
You teach them that it is perfectly logical for Nigeria to export raw crude oil and import refined petrol, and you condition them to worship privatization while ignoring the fact that our local industries are bleeding to death.
And this is just at the primary and secondary school levels.
To complete the programming, the offspring of the political class and a few "promising" select cases from the working class, must travel outside the country.
They are shipped off for advanced brainwashing at top Ivy League schools and Oxbridge institutions, where they are minted as certified compliance officers of the global financial system.
Now, understand that education is not bad, and a Western degree is definitely not a crime.
But in the context of Nigeria, a country that was under direct, brutal British colonial rule for almost 100 years, trying to run our sovereign nation using the exact economic codes of conduct established by our former colonizers and expecting the country to work is pure, undiluted insanity.
This is why, if you look at the math, our situation transforms from merely bad to absolutely terrifying.
Over 75% of the past Finance Ministers in Nigeria from 1984 to today hold advanced degrees from Western schools.
In the petroleum sector alone, which is our primary economic lifeblood, about 88% hold Western degrees.
In other critical macroeconomic sectors like the Central Bank and Foreign Affairs, we are looking at a staggering 60%.
So, pretty much every critical position in the country that is integral to national growth, resource management, and development is occupied by someone who has been intellectually formatted by our colonial masters.
I mean, the current CBN Governor in this Tinubu Administration holds a degree from Harvard University, and we are sitting here holding our breath expecting "life-changing economic reforms" that will benefit the common man in Mushin or Aba?
Abeg oh. You do not go to Harvard to learn how to subsidize yam and garri; you go to Harvard to learn how to impress the IMF.
That is why when these Western-educated technocrats get appointed into these critical positions, they don't arrive with localized solutions.
They show up in bespoke Italian suits and shiny Oxford shoes.
They step off the plane throwing around fancy acronyms like FDI, GDP, and SAP as if they are magical incantations.
They aggressively preach the gospel of the "Washington Consensus," merciless deregulation, floating currencies to the bottom of the ocean, and abrupt subsidy removals.
These people will look at a highly industrialized, hyper-capitalistic American society, look back at a Nigerian economy running on diesel generators, and genuinely believe they can copy-paste Wall Street policies into a country without a functional steel company.
They float the Naira because the textbook says it will find its "true market value," completely ignoring that Nigeria doesn't even manufacture the textbook, the paper it's printed on, or the ink.
The brutal truth is staring us in the face.
We do not have a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. We have a government of the elite, trained by the West, for the benefit of the Global North.
And until we stop importing our economic brains, we will continue to be PowerPointed to death.