Martin

DPD van "parked" on the yellow zigzag, outside a school at 15:10 today. The engine is running & it's unattended. I understand delivering is a challenging job, but, seriously? Nice work @dpd_uk

im just a chill admin

@MichaelT1979 @duolingo Wow. That really is über alle.

@michaelgove You, Sir, are a cunt and your departure is over twenty years too late. I despise you and all you stand for.

After nearly twenty years serving the wonderful people of Surrey Heath and over a decade in Cabinet across five government departments, I have today taken the decision to step down as a Member of Parliament. Read my letter here 👇

@frankturner @musicvenuetrust Tickets bought.

Win the shirt I wore for the entire 24 hour world record run (it’s been washed…!). Raffle, £1 tickets, all proceeds to @musicvenuetrust raffall.com/357913/enter-r…

@Nedsatomictweet @officialnma How I wish I was going. Green and Grey and Throwing Things - both utterly sublime.

Evening each! We can’t wait to share a stage with the legendary @officialnma tomorrow. Get there nice and early if you want to catch our whole set.

@dfalconer59 @ProfBrianCox Eh? These are all words I understand. Some I can even spell. But the order the words are in defeats me. I'm sorry if I sound thick, what are you actually saying?

@ProfBrianCox And the normalisation of 1970s vintage racism is now widely disseminated in our client media and social discourse .

They’ve given up now. It seems to me that the Conservative Party’s strategy is to bury their heads in the sand until after the election, at which point they will blame the in-coming Labour government for the (escalating) consequences of Brexit and claim that it would have been fine if only we had a Conservative government.

@MichaelT1979 Yes.

@MichaelT1979 @miss_mcinerney I imagine there's quite a saving in the cost of teaching History...

@ChrisYoules My Adidas, walk through concert doors

Bad timing to wear my new shoes.

@ChrisYoules This big, nasty, awful shaking thing? You all OK?

@MichaelT1979 Don't forget to factor in the 10-20% Tesco staff discount & life assurance & 7.5% pension contribution & ... 😱

My grandpa who is 85 started making this rock map of Scotland in 1992.He collected rocks during amateur geology trips over 30 years. He says it had to be geologically correct and also aesthetically pleasing.He asked if I could share online as He wants to go viral so please share

@googsie_b @YourWullie And the K70, that was rare when it was new.

Moss Side, Manchester 1974. Photo Martin Parr

@MsJasmineMN Paris?

@MattJNewing @HagertyUK Big bumper Golf wasn't a thing in 1987.

@HagertyUK The golf GTI big bumper model and then the 1.9 205 GTI. The golf was a far better car but the 205 felt faster. 😊

It's 1987, you've a few quid in your pocket, and a desire to go fast and look cool. So which of these scene icons would you choose? Or which one did you have? This is a TOUGH one! They're all epic. 😍

@ChrisYoules Noted the spelling, not much I can do about that. The consignment is addressed to you therefore it's obviously books. Duh.

@MartinRogers Ha! I'm intrigued. What's in it? I see it's 1 of 3, and they spelt my name wrong.

@ChrisYoules delivery for you. It's either very late or welcome back.

@MichaelT1979 Meh. I'll just be grumpy, surly and, well, Premises :)

@MichaelT1979 Remind me again what time I *could've* started had I not booked Sparkys for the 5 yr test at 8 a.m. tomorrow?