Martins

Did my international passport in 2021, valid for 5 years and it expires in 2 months, yet I never visit one foreign country thus far🥲 LORD HAVE MERCY!

😭

This is sending me, there’s literally 70 minutes left 😭😭😭

What’s stopping you from waking up like this, allow someone to love you. 🫵🏼🥺😍

“Tomorrow is public holiday” 9-5ers:

الحياة الزوجية كلها مختصرة بهالفيديو 😂

Nobody: The next of kin at the burial ceremony party of their wealthy father:

Dating a woman who enjoys sex more than you is an experience I wish every man got to have.

Her: can you help me I’m having issues with my UBA Me: I use uba too

This my supervisor gimme him laptop make i go print something, e forget say I don graduate. Rema what a guy.

Omo

You should continue doing it as a wife, because it was because you did them as a girlfriend, that made you a wife. Never stop using the formulae that made a man decide to be deliberately committed to you and make you his wife. End.

Witches in church on Sunday after going for meeting on Friday

Omoo una parents yawerey gan oo.. Which one be say your papa stone you cutlass for chest?? When no be aye. Omoo😳

They didn't have Golden Penny Spaghetti so I bought Dango…

Hombres, después de tener relaciones sexuales hay tres hábitos de higiene que siempre deberían seguir para proteger su salud íntima: 1. Orina inmediatamente.

Dear young men, Especially those of you between the ages of 27-33 and are still single. This is how you know that you may have found your wife: 1. She's highly interested in what you do legitimately for a living, actively trying to encourage you to build your career or business, and always looking out for other opportunities for you. 2. If you live alone, she takes initiatives without being told by observing your home and trying to buy things she knows you need to live a better life in preparation for marriage. 3. She will hardly ask you for money, not because she doesn't need it, but because it's easy for her to get money from other men. And she knows that taking money from other men is an "invitation to treat", and can destroy her relationship with you. And she wouldn't want to make you feel that she's with you for your money, too. 4. When you give her money to do certain things, either for you or for her, she'll try to give you an account of how she spent the money. 5. She keeps boundaries with your friends and doesn't try to compare you with them. Rather, she would look out for that friend whom she observes has your best interests at heart, and encourage you to stay close to him. 6. She will not use sex as a weapon in the relationship, neither would she use it as a bargaining chip. 7. She actively gives you updates on how her day went, and she doesn't come to your house with her phone on silent mode or airplane mode. 8. She will try to abide by how you like her to dress, and she'll listen to you when you caution her about certain behavior that you do not like. 9. She'll actively want you to know her siblings and show interest in and respect for your siblings as well. 10. She'll not hold back if you ask her to lend you money, if she has it. But you, the man, must keep to your words when paying her back. 11. She'll bend many rules for you, but you should not take undue advantage of it. 12. She'll stress you sometimes, and test you in as many ways as possible. She's doing all that to see how well you can lead her, and how well you can control your emotions or anger. 13. She'll make mistakes. But you should use it as a teaching moment for her. If you don't judge her too harshly, she'll start to listen to you more. When you make a woman trust you with her vulnerability, she'll overlook some of your excesses. 14. She'll actively seek your validation and yours alone; whatever you say is good for her, she will accept it. And she won't care what the world says or feels about her. 15. She will not force you to be religious, but she will actively observe whether you respect God, because a man without God may not be a good leader. If you have a lady that can do at least 10 out of the 15, you may have found your wife. And remember, when you choose your wife, you have chosen your destiny. End.

I love Twitter because no one knows when you're online or not