Mat Cauthon

Can anyone help?

OOC: Dear mother! Thanks for the early Christmas present of COVID-19. Enjoy my gift of an all expenses paid trip to a spa in Shadar Logoth!!! #TwitterOfTime #TheWheelOfTime #WoT WheelofTime

Come and listen to my story of a man named Mat. A poor village boy, but he has a wide-brimmed hat. And then one day while looking for some lager, In Shadar Logoth he found an evil dagger. #TwitterOfTime #TheWheelOfTime #wheeloftime #WoT With apologies to the Beverly Hillbillies

I joined a troup of players while hiding from the Red Ajah. I played Macbeth in a play which I think was written by an Aiel many years ago, Anyhoo, it all went well until the "Is this a dagger which I see before me" bit. I remember fuck-all after that, #TwitterOfTime #WheelofTime

That Uno's a foul-mouthed fucker. Isn't he? #TheWheelOfTime #WoT #WheelOfTime #TwitterOfTime #UnoBloodyNomesta

Blood and ashes! I bent down to tie my shoelaces and the Waygate closed before I reached it. Oh well, see you in Season 2. #TheWheelOfTime #TwitterOfTime #WoT #WheelOfTime #MatrimCauthon

OHH! So that's what "Pillow Friend" means. I assumed it meant they hit each other with them until the feathers burst out. The only down on show was the direction in which Moiraine headed... #TheWheelOfTime #twitteroftime #WoT #WheelOfTime #SiuanSanche #Moiraine

Seeing a map of Tar Valon and that nasty gash on Perrin's back have reminded me of Callie Coplin. #TheWheelOfTime #TwitterOfTime #WoT #wheeloftime

For a minute, I thought that Nynaeve had brought Daise Congar into my room in Tar Valon. Turns out it was just an Ogier. #Loial #TheWheelOfTime #WoT #TwitterOfTime #wheeloftime

How am I meant to take Whitecloaks seriously when they can't eat Ortolan properly? In a previous life, I must have been Gigi's Great Aunt Alicia. #TheWheelOfTime #WheelOfTime #TwitterOfTime #WoT

So, Aes Sedai hold a ter'angreal and are unable to lie, and some other stuff?!!? That's not how Rods work... #TheWheelofTime #WoT #TwitterOfTime #WheelofTime #MatCauthon

the three aes sedai oaths are: 1. gaslight 2. gatekeep 3. girlboss

@LanfearChosen That's next on the list, along with Toads, and anything else that I can find that rhymes with Roads

@MatCauthon9 Thought you might do a similar joke about your sister… 😂

Thom Merrilin offered to write me a poem guaranteed to get any woman into bed. "Thom," I said, "That's not how odes work..." #TheWheelOfTime #WoT #TwitterOfTime #WheelOfTime

I gained some knowledge from the first three episodes of #TheWheelOfTime I learned the definition of "Fridging." So many people were complaining about it, so I looked it up, hoping it was dirty or a kink I hadn't indulged in. I was a bit disappointed. #WoT #TwitterOfTime

Callie Coplin has just told Perrin it's snowing. I don't want to think about what she did in his mouth. #TheWheelOfTime #WoT #TwitterOfTime #WheelofTime

@TheSealbreaker Kardashian's arse didn't break the internet. However, it did put a massive crack in it...

Blood and ashes! Or I suppose I'm now allowed to say "Bugger it!" Anyway, I forgot to release that badger before being hurried out of the village. I hope it doesn't bite Bode or the other one. #WheelOfTime #TheWheelOfTime #TwitterofTIme #WoT

Rosamund Pike is amazing as Moiraine. She really brought the house down... #WheelOfTime #TwitterOfTime #WoT #TheWheelOfTime

In case you're wondering how I know that Callie Coplin would piss in your mouth and tell you it was raining? Well, this one time at Band of the Red Hand camp... #TheWheeofTime #TwitterofTime #WoT #WheelofTime