Matt Bischoff

@barstoolspringb @danijackel_ Katic and Ella love each other.

“You have no excuse not to bring a girl back” - @danijackel_

@OhioTate He got scared on how to close out the night with redacted, so just faked “fell asleep”, so that you would have to handle the awkwardness of parting ways with her, when y’all got back. Gurantee he wide awake in his handicap room now, about to beat off! 🤣

I am calling a Players Only Meeting with Mintzy for tomorrow morning. Disappointing ending to the evening. We need to get on the same page.

Any male who remembers this time period knows what the rush was like. Middle school or early high school. Just starting to care about girls. Hot girl wearing a lace thong in class. It hit so different. We’ll never get that back.

RT @BarstoolNOLA: Nothing like a little Louisiana talk on today’s @BarstoolYak

Had the honor of speaking to the @NDFootball team about the importance of Special Teams, the NFL, and what it means for me to create evidence in everything you do

RT @_jackmcpherson: Every day I’m searching for music that makes me feel the way this did

@DannyJConrad @KaticMichael @DanteTheDon 🤣🤣🤣

Katic dummies The Don

4 EVER L S U🐯

RT @BussinWTB: 2 LSU QB Heisman Winners moving identical

Happy Saturday ⁦@LSUfootball⁩ If this dont make you want to SPOT THE BALL right now then you don’t belong here!!! And please don’t come. #JustDifferent

@_garretthargis Y’all boiling some crawfish dawg?

Would you believe me if I told you we’ve been talking about Lord of the Rings for the last hour

@jhovey34 @usta What you starting at a 3.0 or a 3.5? If you played before, I’m sure you got ranked at least a 3.0 lol. And them old men at those levels no joke

I played my first ever @usta OFFICIAL tennis match today. Nerves were at an all time high all week. The minute the first ball was tossed the nerves went away and that competitive spirit came right back out. Fighting for every point. Grinding out rallies. Digging deep. I was back in the arena and it felt good. Final score: 2-6 1-6 I got dominated. Back to work next week 🤝😅

RT @VivaLaStool: .@kbnoswag really opened up today on House Call

@TigerDroppings Dude is unreal

Paul Skenes' 7K's in the World Baseball Classic. 🔥

@nickysmokess 504…not even close

Having a debate at the bar about what the best area code is. I’ll start: 954

@LoganPaul @LeVeonBell Another words….. say @LeVeonBell hasn’t run through all the NFL money he made, without saying he ran through all the money he made in the NFL Bruhh 🙃🤣

A.) you’re not in the NFL B.) you can actually fight so I’d have to properly train, meaning I’d have to step away from WWE (which I won’t do, especially not for you) C.) There’s no money here because you’re not a draw. Prove me otherwise Ofc YOU want the opportunity, I’m a goldmine for retirees like you. But gg

STOP DUCKING @LoganPaul .. bro tryna fight an NFL player that’s never fought before .. let’s set it up bro, we all heard you say you can beat any NFL player .. we can fight in April, the NFL draft is in PITTSBURGH .. we can fight NFL draft weekend! let’s make it happen

@jhovey34 Bro my MawMaw was the same way. Didnt matter if it was Yahtzee or card games. She was spanking everybody.

Grammy can only hang for 45 minutes b/c she has Bridge at 1. She’s got the money bag out and ready and apparently the wager for today is 50 cents per game 👀 GET THIS BREAD GRAMMY 😤😤

@danabeers Got to use a couple dryer sheets when you dry your clothes big dawg!

I need some help from the masses. I’ve noticeably been getting shocked a lot lately. Like physically shocked. Lots of door handles and handshakes shocking me. I only wear swishy pants about once a week. Does anyone know what’s going with electromagnetics?