Matt

@SpotifyCares Hello, I haven't received a verification email after several attempts to have one sent. I've been trying since yesterday. Could you please advise?

@helenrye I...I don't want it...

@MatthewJPaul I believe the expression is 'what fresh hell'...? #NotNow2020

First glance: NICE, I'll take it. Second gla...wait a minute I just realised the name of this show...

Seems reasonable that armed Trump supporters gathered outside the Michigan Secretary of State's house to intimidate him into changing the election result. Wouldn't catch liberal snowflakes being that reasonable.

Oh, how times have changed. CC: @Peter5tewart

Zach Lowe's NBA articles sneaking behind the ESPN paywall is completely justified, overdue, and Matt-saddening.

Love how all the Republicans are ONLY NOW all "Wow yeah this guy needs to get out, I mean what a shit show amirite?"

Monolilith

@BarclaysUKHelp Morning, I've just received a text saying 'Hi, we've found an issue with your debit card, so we've sent you a replacement. Your old card won't work after 28 days, or as soon as you use your new one.' Can I please check this is a genuine message?

It feels very 2020 that I started and loved Schitts Creek but then finished it and waved it goodbye forever.

Damn right.

@The_Big_Quiet God yes. REAR VIEW MIRRRORRRRRRRRRRR

@themarkdennison HELL NO. Feel like you should also learn the drumstick twirl for those repeating three-beats at the end.

Is it a wasted bucket list entry if I put ‘learn the drum pattern to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer theme’?

"You keep everything inside, LIKE A BASHFUL CLAM."

@akmiska Quick, prep your SoundCloud.

@themarkdennison All of the everything. The mumbling, the loud HUH, the mumbling not turning into actual speaking at a volume that stops the HUH? I woke up tired, good thing it isn't showing.

@MatthewJPaul Are you mad because they’re outside your house? Mad because the guy mumbled? Or mad because the other guy understood it and you didn’t? I’m out here asking the important questions.

Workmen outside my house: Guy 1: *Mumble mumble mumble* Guy 2: HUH? Guy 1: *Mumbles louder* Guy 2: Oh. Guy 1: *Mumble mumble mumble* Guy 2: HUH? Guy 1: *Mumbles louder* Guy 2: Oh. *Mumbles* Guy 1: HUH? Friends. I can't today.

It's an I want the virus to disappear but I don't want to go back to the office ever kinda day

I browse on fleet, da fuq

Don't you even dare bitch about NHS workers getting a pay rise.