Matt’s Idea Shop

monitoring the situation

Chuck Norris: *goes to heaven* The devil:

Heaven just got safer.

This might actually be Trump's funniest moment 😂 Japanese Reporter: Why didn't you tell us before you struck Iran? Trump: "Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor?" 💀🔥😂

Hospital has been Chuck Norrised

The story of Megyn Kelly’s transformation is, in many ways, the story of what happens when a traditional television career collides with the influencer economy — and loses, then adapts. hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-n…

I read this entire tweet in a gay voice

Eggs watching the rest of the fridge from their special tray

.07% that voted against

How St Patrick’s day isn’t a Greenland holiday is crazy

End the war in 3 easy steps:

Look, there is a lot you can criticize Megyn for but nothing is worse than her constantly telling the world about Mark Levin’s dick.

I used to be entirely in the camp that said you should kick your kids out at 18 and force them to live independently and make their own way in the world. I don’t feel that way at all anymore. I want all my kids to live with us until they get married. Even after they’re married, if they want to live on our property, or close by, my wife and I would love that. The important thing is to teach your kids responsibility, which we’re doing. They need to contribute and help around the house, which all of our kids do from a very young age. Provided you aren’t raising ungrateful useless moochers, why kick them out? Why drive them away from your family home? I don’t see the point in it anymore. I actually like my kids and like being around them. Maybe they’ll all end up scattered to the wind. But I’d prefer to keep the family together. Why wouldn’t I?

Look, I hate that it’s come to this but in the interest of full disclosure I have to release private texts I received from a friend. To quash any rumors you might be hearing.

@LFC Slot out

Full-time.

Admitting that you were texting with Iran while you were lobbying the president in the White House against fighting Iran, and expecting to be seen as the victim…might be the new definition of insanity.

Won the biggest championship of my life yesterday. She said yes. 💍🏆

@IanCarrollShow @BrentScher “If Trump had Text Iran” is the galaxy brain foreign policy strategy we’ve all been missing.

@BrentScher If Trump had texted Iran maybe he would have known they’d kick our ass and would have gotten us into this mess. Tuckers a journalist- he’s allowed to text people in other countries. We have literal Israeli spies in the cabinet. Get off your midget horse.

this Megyn Kelly parody account is really jumping the shark lately