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Doctor says, "Treatment is simple: Read comic books. Laugh. That'll pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Doctor, I write comics."
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Max Garcia Davison
7.5K posts
Max Garcia Davison
@MaxGDavison
Writer (Simpsons Comics, the Top Gun and Entourage pieces in McSweeneys). Occasional Jeopardy contestant. Still wondering what happened to the Oneders.
Los Angeles Katılım Şubat 2011
947 Takip Edilen552 Takipçiler
Fantastic. My manager said that he had zero notes on the first draft of my new script!
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My penpal hasn’t written back in years. I’m finally understanding this mail loneliness epidemic.
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@CodifyBaseball Bullpen game for every remaining start of the season.
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“Ayatollah!”
-Italian oil liner having to pay a fee at the Strait of Hormuz
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Chris Taylor confirms that he is officially retiring after a 12 year MLB career
Talkin' Baseball@TalkinBaseball_
Chris Taylor has changed his mind about retirement and instead will go on the Minor League IL with a fractured left forearm, per @RhettBollinger
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For those of us who don’t have the privilege of being able to cook for ourselves, we desperately need mandatory vegan cream cheese options for our $14 everything bagels.
Taylor Lorenz@TaylorLorenz
NYC bagel shops need to get with the times. The bagels in LA suck, but all the LA bagel shops at least use cashew-based vegan cream cheese. NYC bagel shops almost never have vegan cc or they’re using hyper processed Tofutti 🤢. I hope Zohran can remedy this
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*As the Ark of the Covenant is about to open*
INDY: Oh! I just realized something!
MARION: What???
INDY: I think that my student who wrote on her eyelids might’ve been into me!
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Based on all these beautiful tributes, the Emmys' in memoriam should be a tribute to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
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Max Garcia Davison retweetledi
Travolta is a mad genius, the Da Vinci of the beret-naissance.
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The Boys finale and final season were perfect, divine, and the second coming of peak television and anyone who thinks otherwise is a heretic and if they say this season was mid then THEY are the ones who are actually mid and have no place in Homelander’s America!!
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“Special thumbs up.”
Deadline@DEADLINE
Renate Reinsve gives a special thumbs up to Deadline #Cannes
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25 years ago: “I would’ve dominated the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!”
Today: “Okay, CLEARLY this USB cable is broken!!”
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Ash remembers winning the battle with Pikachu but Brock insists that Onyx came out on top.
Gotta catch 'em all
Rashomon
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Ask your doctor about Hyzermk, the first FDA approved medication for Skyrizi allergies.
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“Report spam?” What do I look like, a journalist covering Hormel?
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I was excited for the Mandalorian movie until Grogu went into the Criterion closet. Not a single Cassavetes? Then he chooses Seven Samurai, the most obvious Kurosawa? And then he picks In the Mood For Love in a final attempt at salvaging his cinephile cred.
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A few hens, an onion, and a lasagna walk into a bar. This joke has layers.
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