Maybe Lucas Leiva

Enough with meta social commentary and meta jokes. Dumb it down and just tell me the apple version!

They selling Alpha Gal in the vegan section now

Gramps getting hearing aids was surprising because I didn’t even know he had hearing HIV

Homegirl talking about her period is long, didn’t know I was friends with an ellipsis…

Connecticut has so many baddies they nicknamed the state CTea

Heard Olivia Rodrigo is dating Geese, she really for the flock

Tried to steal a hot dog from Costco now they’ve locked me in the food court

Merging to the left, living life in the fast lane. Look to my right, you all the way in the bike lane.

@atomicgrom @letterboxd Everyone making top lists and bottom lists, but no one making verse lists

There should be a letterboxd bottom 4 @letterboxd

@atomicgrom @letterboxd Looking at the bottom list like what I’m doing here????

Your future husband is out tonight hitting the scubaaaaa

@atomicgrom When an Irishman walk into a bar, everyone orders a Guinness. When a Brit walks into a bar, everyone orders a Stella. When @lookatmyjonny walk into a bar, everyone orders an Angel shot

Angel shots on me !

If the space ship exploded they would’ve named this movie Project Fail Mary

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner, this victory hit the PUBG-spot

The bag I bought you might be fake, but I’m the real thing

The Easter Bunny was probably the inspiration for DoorDash

You may think it was sour, sweet, or even salty… but a baby’s favorite flavor is actually uMOMMY

If this beer not Hopped with Judy I don’t want it

I’m obese if bits are food #eating

Yeah I’ll miss a few meals, but I’m always eating