Mayberry Tweets

A: Oh you know one another? B: No. I just was here when she was signed in & everything. I really don’t know her. I couldn’t tell her from Adam Prisoner: Really Barney. You couldnt tell me from Adam? A: Howd you get to be a deputy with eyesight like that?

ETB: How do you do Mrs. Wiley? Good evening. Nice evening aint it? May I have this daince? Thank you for the daince. May I have the next daince? No coffee tea or punch thank you.

A: What B: Now I can cover highway 6. You know nail them speeders. Checkpoint Chickie

A: What in the world is that? B: Is this the answer to our problems or isn’t it? This mechanically perfect RJ300 motorcycle, that’s official Army nomenclature, is as of now an official part of the Mayberry Sheriff Department rolling stock.

And down there with um he’s got enough corn mash to keep them chickens sozzled from now to doomsday. O: What is it Pa B: It’s a still. That’s what it is. For makin moonshine. A: It ain’t no New England sap bucket.

Some kind of incubator aint it Mr. Frisby? That’s right Mr. Frisby, he’s real good to his chickens. Keeps his incubator in the cellar in case there’s a cyclone or anything so they won’t get there feathers ruffled.

A: Don’t get no sudden notions Mr. Frisby. Just stay where you are. Now ladies what am I bid on this fine old antique? O: What is it Pa? A: I’d like to tell ya it’s the only one of its kind but there’s 5 more down there in the cellar just like it.

O: Pa Pa! Something’s wrong Pa. Something’s wrong with Beau. He’s sick Pa. He dying. Look! A: Sick? That rooster’s got the blind staggers

O: Pa, Trey & me, were friends again. I gave it to him to keep. He told me this is the 1st time he ever had a full size genuine regulation football A: Now hes got something even better than that son. Now he’s got a full size genuine regulation friend to match. In fact we all have

B: Approach the cave entrance slowly! SLOWLY! Do not panic! Repeat. Do not panic! We need all available digging tools. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor. Repeat. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their neighbor.

B: Im not gonna stand in no stag line w/old Mr Perkins & a bunch of slumped over teenage boys A: Well lets just go home then It’s been a wonderful evening B:Thats rite home! A man spends money gettin his suit spotted & pressed Takes 2 hours polishin his hat & for what? HEARTACHES

B: That no good swindler. I don’t trust him Andy. And you wanna know why? A: A guy moves into town. 2: He has no job and C: He wants to marry Mrs. Bendelmright. A: Barney you’re gassed!! That cider’s turned hard!

Mrs. M: Oh good heavens. My mother’s dresser. This dresser came by bus all the was from Fort Lauderdale. Oh Mr Fife, how could you?

And I made it so important that I made impossible for you to live up to. You’re my son. And I’m proud of you just for that. You do the best you can. And if you do that, that’s all I’ll ever ask of you. Okay?

O: Did ou get my note? A: Yeah. You didn’t say where you were going O: Well I was going away someplace. Not come back til you were proud of me again. A: Opie I got something I want to say to you. When I thought you got all A’s that was the most important thing in the world to me

G: A decoy. Shazam!

AB: Andy why are you vacuuming at 2:30 in the morning G: It was me and I weren’t really vacuumin. I was tightenin the switch and she locked in the on position. See here where it say’s on? Well when she’s in that position she’s gonna run on ya.

BD: Miss Bee, I never dreamed that anything so beautiful could be said to me. It was your heart talkin to my heart. Now my heart is answerin. Miss Bee, I’m declarin for you. I want you to be my bride.

DrEB: So I say to you dear friends. Relax. Slow down. Take it easy. WHAT’S YOUR HURRY? What indeed friends is your hurry?

Sarge: Bass shut your mouth and open it. You stand here and let the doctor examine you. Dr: Say ah ETB: Ah! Dr: Could you stretch that out a bit? ETB: Ahhhhhhhhhhh. What do you want me to say for the ears? Dr: Hush ETB: Hushhhhhhhhhhhhhh.