McWeakerton

You told me you weren't like other girls, but when I condescend you in public you get just as mad as other girls.

If you study weather, you're a meteorologist. If you study well endowed men, you're a meaty urologist.

The 6 Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Conquest, Famine, War, Dave, and Buster

Important reminder that Blade's name is Eric; someone named Eric one day started insisting people call him Blade

2nd place goes to bread

Breadsticks are maybe the most aptly named food

I don't love that every time I get Sugar Free Surge from the soda fountain in a Burger King lobby they sound the *WHITE TRASH ALARM* and chase me out of town

@pyramidschemegr on the 31st I'll be doing a Ted Talk on how to get local birds to chirp in 5/4 time signatures @ The Pyramid Scheme instagram.com/p/CS7QqmXAQmz/…

@pilemusic The soft lungs of Stephen Miller

This should be the next debate moderator

You're goddamn right

@pulte I wrecked a rental car that my insurance isn't covering, so probably that

6 feet from the sun @ Manistee National Forest instagram.com/p/CDXo4ZkDd3Y/…

Girls don't like boys, girls like light RPG elements

If you wish to make a sickass bass riffs, first you must invent the universe.

Ya I know I can make an egg salad sandwich on my own but I don't get that same dirty thrill as when I eat one from a gas station

Real life is proving to be the wildest reality TV show I've ever seen

@owl_bit Cinematic mode, no HUD, aim assist on

What difficulty setting is your day on?

next time you see me ask me to shake my hands really really fast. they look tiny when i do that

Can y’all pretend to like foreign language music too. Would appreciate it. open.spotify.com/album/2UH4upjA…