M Monte

@Target WHY DID YOU PUT A DOORBELL SOUND IN YOUR COMMERCIAL? DO YOU HAVE NO SOUL? #dogs

Another day, another round of men asking, "Why are women attracted to this mildly unconventional looking dude?" Honey, every woman you know has a crush on the cartoon fox version of Robin Hood, and this is what baffles you?

what's kamala's plan for getting Deshaun Watson off my team

@LaStefa On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

@LaStefa Damn that’s some pretty HD video for the times! You’re welcome (though who the fuck is hunting rhinos smh)

@Mi_Marie_Mo 13 years ago you placed this upon my fb wall god bless amen youtu.be/LJP1DphOWPs?si…

Pet Shop Boys better stay inside and lock the doors. You too Snoop Dogg. And Pitbull.

What is each presidential candidate’s plan to get Deshaun Watson off the Browns

.@JDVance we're ready when you are...

Watched I, Robot today and now the Day After Tomorrow is on. If either of these movies happened right now in real life I’m pretty sure we’d all be like, yep. Seems about right

On top of being paid with Saudi blood money of course @b_dechambeau is also MAGA trash

The @usopengolf flag poles look like the character from Ahhh…Real Monsters and I can’t unsee it.

today i'm doing a challenge called wednesday it's where i try to make it through wednesday

@LaStefa I think they all get a little fixed up once they retire #newteeth

Me: damn why is heinrick lvndquist still so handsome, no one who got pucks shot at their face should be that sexy Friend: I know I’m getting old because that old man who was just talking seemed attractive to me Me: do you mean Wayne fucking Gretzky? Honestly yeah you can do worse

Whoever picks the music for Cold Justice 🤌🏻🤌🏻

What, the first time you listen to a song you do t need to simultaneously read the lyrics? Am I old?

Just finished the Throne of Glass series if anyone would like to debrief

Just once I want to get spray tanned by a normal sized person and not the most tiniest perfect kind.

NONE OF THE YOUNG FOLKS ARE HELPING ME TAKE PICTURES OF THE ECLIPSE

When Jesus saw the guards as he was coming out of the tomb