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@CziparParker Sad day

i wore my iowa shirt in the Starbucks line just for the cashier to say it’s a cyclone state

Just another in the long line of dog-related content I'm producing for @LittleVillage.

This is so niche, but also what Twitter is for so I'm gonna send it. IF YOU EVER ATTENDED DOWLING HIGH SCHOOL AND GOT DIVE BOMBED BY A GOOSE THAT NESTED ON THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING PLEASE MESSAGE ME. THANK YOU!!

What pisses me off is that I know some great Russians and some great Ukrainians. And I’ve had some fucking great nights in both countries. Putin: you are such a cun

@trevor_blm33 But Iowa is gonna score 3-5 field goals

Michigan by 10 next week just wait

I'm a visual learner... Charts and diagrams

@trevor_blm33 @vhstigers I'd recognize that interstate exit anywhere

Dawg you’re flying over @vhstigers

@pearliegates16 Wow wow wow wow wow are you saying you don't love daddy apple anymore? Is the company that took away your headphone port bad? Apple just feels you shouldn't delay such important things ya know? Just give daddy apple your money

why is it still impossible for me to schedule when a text is sent on my iPhone when I could on my android two years ago??Apple what are we doing???All these cameras but still no ‘send later’ option?

@trevor_blm33 Was 7/11 a part one job?

Was 9-11 an inside job

RT @TheOnion: Dream Crushed Over Trivial Bullshit Represents Nation Better Than Gold Medal Ever Could bit.ly/3jG6VyO https://t.co/…

Grad students live in purgatory, me I'm going straight to hell

Anyone know how to convert a DB file into a FIT or GPX file?

@braden_tetmeyer Took him 5 minutes huh. Mines usually in the garage waiting with a rake, like a professional

My father within 5 minutes of me being home: “You ready to work in the yard?”

@thebnewm Yall got halo?

Who wants to come over and play?! I got 4 xbox controllers! And three of them are still in the box...

"last night I had a dream that I suddenly decided I wanted to play the trombone..." - @lilydetaeye

@EllisFontana Why do my mouth and eyes not hurt after every meal!? Wild

"I PLAYED HALO FOR YOU!" - @lilydetaeye

RT @kitfitz35: Everything I do, I do for the approval of 3-4 unrequited crushes I haven’t spoken to in years

Steps to happiness: 1. Thrift extra large sweater 2. Insert dog 3. Happiness achieved