Mike Platts

Not often that one of my joke songs becomes a legally established fact…

Beton (Бетон) - Kyiv Calling (official cover version of London Calling o... youtu.be/9guzUoTNxeE via @YouTube

@DAaronovitch @grantshapps @BBCr4today @grantshapps (Green - we haven’t forgotten that nonsense) is and was a cunt. So no surprises there.

I am sick of ministers like @grantshapps using the small settled status scheme to suggest that Britain is the top refugee-taker in the world. It's deliberately and totally misleading. He did it again on @bbcr4today just now. It is more or less just a lie.

@breesophiebree So sorry mate. Thank you to you and Sophie for all the smiles. What a cracker she was. x

Male here, I wish there was a better, kinder way to announce this, but Sophie died overnight. We found her this morning, obviously nestled comfortably at home. It looks like she made herself cosy and drifted away. Farewell, my lovely girl.

@NadiaKamil Drop the “nurse” and the same holds true. Never met a nicer bunch.

@kevdawson9 @Boroartist 🤪

@MikePlatts @Boroartist Dafcun

Now here is a Boro Legend!

@kevdawson9 @Boroartist Probably thought you were begging and was considering dropping ten bob in your cup. Likely decided against, having come to the conclusion that you’d just spaff it on Kestrel Super Strength.

@Boroartist I saw him outside Tesco in ingleby last week he said hello to me ... probably because I was just stood staring at one of my heroes 🤣

@kevdawson9 @RothmansYears @EnglandMemories Sweary Fitz we used to call him.

@kevdawson9 @RothmansYears @EnglandMemories It’s true though, I was in that lesson. Mr Fitzgibbon was like, “Thank fuck that dafcun’s fucked off, we can put the fucking match on now.”

@kevdawson9 @RothmansYears @EnglandMemories What you on about, everyone hated you.

@RothmansYears @EnglandMemories Good job the physics teacher hated me then as it was a piece of piss to get sent out of class 👍

Remembering Sean Lock — one of our greatest comedians and a much-loved part of the Channel 4 family. RIP Sean. You will be missed.

This is mesmerising

@kevdawson9 And he reckons your bricks are shit, so you’re about even.

Malan bogs down our innings time after time

@carolecadwalla Hi there ok obvs

It’s not a resignation, it’s an execution. Someone has been sitting on that footage for a long time. So why now? To what end?

@LewisStanding1 @NTCouncilTeam @NTyneCCG @NTynesideVODA @ChampionsNT @NHSEnglandNorth @NorthumbriaNHS nhs.uk/nhs-services/o…

@NTCouncilTeam @NTyneCCG @NTynesideVODA @ChampionsNT @NHSEnglandNorth @NorthumbriaNHS Is there a way to find out what your NHS number is, without having to call your gp practice? (they'll be busy enough anyway)

‼️ From tomorrow there will be extra vaccination services available across #NorthTyneside. You don't need an appointment, but your NHS number would be helpful. 📍 Details of times and locations can be found here: bit.ly/3oJRoyw

@kevdawson9 @talkSPORT 🤣

@MikePlatts @talkSPORT Yerdafcun

Without revealing your age, who was your very first favourite footballer? 🤔

@kevdawson9 @talkSPORT Give it to Bernie!

@talkSPORT Bosco Jankovic

@kevdawson9 You shagging Kev?

7 mins in and this has the making of an absolute thriller,...... End to end stuff

@TyneKittiwakes Three #tynekittiwakes arrived at the North Shields Ferry Landing this afternoon. One sitting right on top of the newly installed netting. Heartbreaking