Mike Owens

Call me about my car’s extended warranty one more fucking time

"Saquon just scored again"

@2008Philz Jonathan Pettibone

Got a pair of tix up for grabs for Sunday’s game. If you can use them, name a random Phillies player in the replies. You don’t have to follow me to win (but it’d be a lot cooler if you did).

Hear me out

this is easily one of the best things they've done.

Bruh my sister is growing tf up… she dont even take my bullshit no more

Chicago fucking slap #giveitalisten

The overwhelming feeling of getting out of the city and living my own life off the grid is hitting harder than Crack hit the 80s

Bad Bih 50th Floor Eating Habachi 🍜

The 2024 Phillies rotation

DONT THROW AWAY YOUR ECLIPSE GLASSES‼️ stick your glasses in an evelope & mail to the address below so that kids in Latin America can use them Oct 2, to watch the South American Eclipse Eclipse Glasses USA, LLC PO Box 50571 Provo, UT 84605

Me wasting company time, staring at clouds today like

420 foot Bryce Harper bomb!!! 🔥🔥🔥

My photo Me on a on Teams Teams call

@2008Philz Phils win the division and Wheeler gets his first Cy Young

It’s that time of year again. Drop a 2024 Phillies prediction in the replies and I’ll add Bryce Harper to your profile pic…

@FailSepta @_LeslieRichards @TonyBrunoNation @BobKellyFOX29 @DawnStensland @Dana_TFSJ @FeatStinky @EddieCaiazzo @khoopes27 we need a hero!

🚨 STABBING 🚨 And yet again another "Homeless" individual that @_LeslieRichards claims to be helping is in serious condition from being stabbed by another HOMELESS individual. Leslie allows homeless to live in and around the subway where they end up robbed assaulted or dead.

@khoopes27 @SEPTA_SOCIAL

@GoroCordova Its always fuck Joe Budden. Ever since he disrespected the Migos 😤

I can’t believe I’m doing this. But who is the better rapper? There’s only one right answer

My drink? My Diet Dr. Kelp? DONT TELL ME YOU FORGOT MY DRINK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK?!

@HowThingsWork_ Hell yeah

Tree stump removal.🪵