Alexis Perkins 🥔

Jim asks Dwight how long COVID-19 will last:

Going to the symphony tonight. Entering my Frasier Crane era

@famousteesha I hope they make another because it was so GOOD. I need more!

Me: (*crying my eyes out at #TheGoldenBachelor *) My cat: Would you feel better if you rubbed my tummy? I would feel better if you rubbed my tummy.

(*doesn’t feel like getting on highway*) 🎵Frontage roads, take me home To the cats I left alone 😽

Call me Franklin cuz I been jammin’

Communist in the tweets, capitalist in the streets

After meeting a new friend… Normal, acceptable: We should hang out some time. Mysterious, vaguely threatening: We haven’t see the last of each other.

same

I’m dressed cottage core for the club

renal calculi also known as kidney stone cold stunners

Gum drop in fur form

If anyone close to me ever gets murdered I’m going to have to be like hook my cats up to a lie detector, they know I was home

The thing that might get me to stop using isolation as a coping mechanism is the fear of someday needing an alibi

Still only have but 1 wild & precious life but now with +1 more social media app! I got Threads is what I’m trying to say. @mimmblemimmble" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">threads.net/@mimmblemimmble

@JonPaz One time Casey said this about a friend of ours (not to her): “she perpetually dresses as if she’s on vacation at an all inclusive resort.” It’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard him say 🙊

What’s the sickest burn you’ve ever heard?

Turns out crime does pay, just not enough.

Do you ever find a nook or cranny in your house that you never looked at before & realize how excited you are to clean it because what have the satisfying cleaning videos done to us??