Miss Minge

Coronavirus got me like 27 digestives for breakfast, 14 kit kats and a twirl for lunch and 3 boxes of matchmakers for dinner...all washed down with 5 litres of Lambrini...fucking state...

Me bc of lockdown

Feel like me fanny should be on the Iceland advert after ingesting that prawn ring you call a cock...

When he has the cheek to invite you to meet his parents...I've been bouncing on your soggy chipolata for a week and a half mate, I've had UTIs that have lasted longer...

Either I’ve got covid or this Chinese is shite, I can’t taste it ☹️

Might dress up as another girl’s Instagram picture for Halloween this year so maybe he’ll like me

When he’s being a gobshite do you ever think to yourself, I bet Beyoncé wouldn’t put up with this shit. Or are you normal & lash the remote at his head.

Swear to god if my fella doesn’t message me back within half an hour after me sending him these pics ...saying, when we getting married then, then there’s gonna be Fuckin murder!!! #WifeMaterial

After sex cuddles?...wipe your dick on the curtains and feed me cat on the way out! Ta hun...

When he has to audacity to fall asleep after he nuts in your hair after 37 seconds of 'taking you to pound town'...

Monday tomorrow? Might take Trump's advise and drink fucking Domestos!

Sundays...made for scratching your fanny on the sofa wishing you looked like Beyoncé...