Miranda Berman

Remember “probably just jeans and a top”?

Only comment if you use the words smear or traverse. Do not comment if you use the word “famously.” #Skyscraperlive

Replace the #Skyscraperlive commentators with Tom Cruise and Nathan Fielder immediately.

Sage has pages and pages of pregame journals?? Babe, we need the names! Release the Sage files!!

Loling my head off at how many people I know commented for the dupe of a row sweater from a dupefluencer we all follow. Anyway, vote tomorrow!

Waiting for a text counts as writing.

Kylo Ren is character, Riley Keough is an actress and Rilo Kiley is a band. They have nothing to do with each other. I have to remind myself of this every morning.

Cut myself lip shaving in my lip wrinkle if any vampires out there wanta taste.

Love to spend Saturday night making my boyfriend watch the This is Me featurette from The Greatest Showman.

i will be making this my personality for the next two months

In search of homework tutor, for me an adult woman. Ideally vibes similar to my bat mitzvah tutor. Xo

Where’s the article about Timmy’s relationship with Kylie’s kids? I really believe in them as a couple! He’s always touching her. I need to know more. Please and thank you.

Don’t ask me what to wear to a theme party unless you want me to give up my whole day helping you. That’s kind of my whole deal as a person.

He was with her tonight.

Also good looking I think

Hiiiiiii guy

Okay, Emilia Perez songwriting couple… very hot.

If you don’t want me at my “Get up. We have to go to urgent care now,” then you don’t deserve me at my “Let’s just give it ten more minutes and if it still hurts, we’ll go.”

But is tomorrow really a new day? I feel like it’s just the same. It’s like we get “TBC” chyron at midnight.

Not me hoping 2024 twitter will still go back to 2014 twitter.

Not me having to take a beta blocker just to get on the phone with the accountant.