Mendy A

@MagnumPeeEye and I like to do this fun thing where he pretends that @SamsClub accidentally sends us treats/fun items and I laugh like I didn’t know he was going to make that joke.

Dr appt tips and tricks: Don’t sit by the registration desk. If you do, you have to smell everyone that walks by. 🥴

My brother doesn’t know who Alligator Jackson is. 🙊

Someone should tell doctors that adults like bubble gum amoxicillin too.

Mom: that guy reminds me of Chance the Rapper, does he you? Me: Yeah, somewhat…. (Pretending I know what he looks like)

Me: Please let me know what you want within the next 24 hours. *10 minutes goes by* Me: Wow. I can’t believe no one has responded yet. So irresponsible…

I just tried to zoom in on a pic on a box. I need a nap 😵‍💫

Our annual picnic with a twist! - All four offices recently celebrated 50 successful years in business with a day at Ace Adventures. Some faced fears while others crossed items off their bucket list, overall a great time was had by all in attendance. - #TeamSuttle #ACEAdventures

Cat shuts herself in the bathroom in the middle of the night. Then she repeatedly attacks my feet while I’m asleep. Won’t get out of the closet this morning so Jeff picks her up & she scratches him to pieces. He gets mad, slams the closet door, breaks a mirror. Who wants a cat?

I want to see the Barbie movie but I don’t have any cute pink clothes. I feel like I must wait until I can watch it from home looking like a troll.

I just paid for my lunch w/cash and had the exact change like it was the 90's or something.

Our cats 4th bday was yesterday and NO ONE remembered. #CallCPS #CatProtectionServices

@MagnumPeeEye No thanks.

It’s miserably hot outside. Hey you wanna go to the park with me and set up a piece of nylon to hang from two trees and we smush ourselves into it together and sweat?

@MoTayyy Where did all of the good photo hunt machines go? I need one!!!

It’s not a problem for most, but photo hunt just ain’t the same.

I feel comfortable in speaking for all of us that don’t have a NO TRESPASSING sign in saying that we, too, do not want you to trespass.

Today my son moved up to a new class at daycare. I’m sure @MagnumPeeEye and I made a great impression on the new teachers since we forgot to SHOE HIM 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thinking about opening up my own wings restaurant. It’s called wings world and absolutely rips off Wayne’s world. Everything is Wayne’s world themed. Also I’m not thinking about opening it up. This has been a tweet.

@MagnumPeeEye Mine has a dance party remix of "She Don't Know She's Beautiful" by Sammy Kershaw. My ears hurt.

All right now damnit, Spotify we need to talk. I love Christmas music so yes Burl Ives gets seasonal airplay in December but I do not need his music on my weekly RELEASE RADAR. Oh yeah, btw this is not new music either - what is going on here.

I just took the best nap. I am so happy right now.

Ever feel like your clients treat you like a car salesman? They don't like paying taxes and think the numbers are negotiable. #TaxTwitter