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My first ever Substack post! I hope it's easier to read than it was to write. #amquerying #writingcommunity #writerslife
WHY I WILL PROBABLY NEVER GET A LITERARY AGENT open.substack.com/pub/misterhand…
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Mister Hand
7.9K posts
Mister Hand
@MisterHand1
Query trench lifer. Featured in McSweeney’s: https://t.co/gVRkVocvuM
on the left wrist Katılım Haziran 2011
861 Takip Edilen547 Takipçiler
@JennaSchmenna You might be overestimating the access an author without rep has to the whisper network. I’ve been on X for years and never been mutuals with an agent. If it took you years to find out about Fancy Agent, my chances of getting the tea from Anonauthor123 in a group chat seem low.
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it's been a year since my last 'tea' episode--time for the 2nd installment
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@tharealsinbaby @klara_sjo @AllexiConn Is a blind person reading a braille book, or are they touching?
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@klara_sjo @AllexiConn We're still consuming literature, that's fair and undebatable. But reading uses one part of the brain, listening uses another, some centers are shared, sure.
Reading ain't fucking listening, listening ain't reading.
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@ccaylor10 For someone who lists list sarcasm in your bio, you’re not great at identifying it.
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All I know is this guy is an idiot 🙄👇
Rep. Jack Kimble@RepJackKimble
All I know is if I have to catch a flight, I'm going to feel a lot better seeing masked gunmen at the airport.
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You see this is obviously rage bait. It’s incredibly funny that you have no soul. Imagine that. You wake up. You look in the mirror and you consciously decide to grift and piss off the online community. You do realize all of this will end at some point right?
Rep. Jack Kimble@RepJackKimble
All I know is if I have to catch a flight, I'm going to feel a lot better seeing masked gunmen at the airport.
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I thought this was sarcasm at first
Rep. Jack Kimble@RepJackKimble
All I know is if I have to catch a flight, I'm going to feel a lot better seeing masked gunmen at the airport.
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@RepJackKimble @krispyswitch You are full of shit, but i guess you like the fact these untrained yobs, have killed US citizens.
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All I know is if I have to catch a flight, I'm going to feel a lot better seeing masked gunmen at the airport.
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It's pretty discouraging when an agent's worst case scenario for how many queries it might take for an author to get an agent is actually absurdly optimistic.
Path2pub (Path To Publication)@path2pub
Today’s Path2pub post is dedicated to writers who are discouraged in the querying trenches Advice From Literary Agents: Take Heart, Writers! #WritinCommunity #Querying path2pub.wordpress.com/2026/03/23/adv…
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@rachkmc @Andrea_H_Writes I've seen many agency websites that have those stipulations on the initial query, but I've yet to see one have stipulations for wait times on a full request.
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@Andrea_H_Writes i would definitely a.) check if there's a stipulation on the website (sometimes if you don't hear anything in 4-6 weeks its an auto "no") definitely nudge at the 2 month mark :)
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Can someone explain to me the circumstances under which an agent never replies after requesting a full submission? I'm sure there's some reason but NEVER HEARING BACK sounds like torture.
#amquerying #writingcommunity
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@Andrea_H_Writes I've been ghosted on 23% of my requests. The first one was torture. It gets a little easier if your hope dies.
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@DukeManiacs @Dru_Lew Yeah, the idea that Duke just happened to play their worst game in the title game and that it had nothing to do with what UConn was doing is amusing to say the least. They were outplayed and outcoached.
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@Dru_Lew That was lightning in a bottle and I hate to admit it... Duke was outcoached that night.
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Exactly, I wish some of the "newer" fans could sit through some of the seasons that we endured even before the first title. They are spoiled. They didn't sit through Duke getting their wheels blown off by UNLV in 90 in the title game and then coming back the next year...
Blue Devil Nation@BlueDevilNation
The modern era of Duke fans expects perfection. Many have adopted Duke because they are good, and that's fine. But those of us who watched the entire foundation of success being built realize how spoiled some can be with a 33-2 team. This season is special, and it continues.
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@ErikaHarold If you’re an alum, than you know Northwesterm has done this chant for decades.
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@mambatuley Kimble being a fictional character who is poking fun at the person whose views you are opposed to doesn’t change your take?
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@MisterHand1 Thanks, I get it but he was correctly quoting a real person, incident, so doesn't change my take on it
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Criticizing President Trump and resigning a position President Trump appointed you to, I believe are two strikes to a terrorism charge. If he has criticized the Department of War too, that's all it would take.
Joe Kent@joekent16jan19
After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today. I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby. It has been an honor serving under @POTUS and @DNIGabbard and leading the professionals at NCTC. May God bless America.
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Hey fellow QueryTrackers! If I got a response from a publisher "can reduce word count and resubmit" would I call that an R&R for tracking purposes or a rejection?
#amquerying #querytrenches
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I’m mixing my passions in this post, but as someone whose first agent rejection was 36 years ago, I identify more with Pavelka here than I ever have with a HIGMA post. If I ever get an agent, I imagine I’ll sound a lot like he does in this clip. #amquerying #writingcommunity
NCAA Buzzer Beaters & Game Winners@NCAABuzzerBters
41-year Nebraska basketball announcer Kent Pavelka’s (@KentPavelka) call of the final seconds as he witnesses Nebraska’s first ever NCAA Tournament win x.com/HuskerVidz25/s…
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@mambatuley There’s no “maybe” about this being a satire account.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Kimb…
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@TheOnlyCoachQ @BlueDevils Takes less energy to miss a shot than to make it? 🤔
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@BlueDevils Looks like cruise control to me. Like they are preserving energy instead of going out and trying to blow a team out by 40. The game will be won they just don’t want to waste energy doing it. Lot of hard games ahead
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@SleeperWarriors @CBSSportsCBB @tracywolfson What’s the alternative? Claim you were complete prepared to play them and you still ended up down 11?
Besides, Scheyer admitted as much in the postgame interview with Wolfson: “Gerry McNamara outcoached me.”
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@CBSSportsCBB @tracywolfson Why would you admit this??
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"We thought it was going to be a cakewalk going into this game so now we know what it is so we just have to respond back."
Duke's Maliq Brown spoke with @TracyWolfson at halftime.
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@RepJackKimble He thinks this is funny -- mansplaining mansplaining -- and hopes a lot of women miss the irony -- but it's really just kind of nasty and condescending.
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One thing women don’t get is that mansplaining is short for man explaining
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@RepJackKimble Well, he is a smarter, more patriotic man than you, an obsequious pedo, felon sycophant who sold out.
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