Michael Kurtz

Just favorited "Gourmet Grooves Part 108 (June 16 2023 - Diversity o…" by Ben Welham on Mixcloud mixcloud.com/benwelham/gour…

Favorited "Defected Radio Most Rated 2017 Pt.2 w/ Karizma - 15.12.17" mixcloud.com/Defectedrecord… by @DefectedRecords

I just met a lady with the most beautiful red flags I have ever seen.

Just favorited "Defected Radio Show: Paige Tomlinson & Rio Tashan Ta…" by @DefectedRecords on Mixcloud mixcloud.com/Defectedrecord…

My ex was a cocaine bear.

George Santos claims he has classified documents in his house also.

I called my ex girlfriend onions because she ruined everything unless she was fried.

Just loved "Fuseamania Live From Sunshine Sessions at OTR Stillhouse 6-26-2022" by Fuseamania on @mixcloud mixcloud.com/fuseamania/fus…

Favorited "Defected Radio Show Hosted by Monki - 11.11.22" mixcloud.com/Defectedrecord… by @DefectedRecords

@MayorOfFartTown Edgy

Facebook seems like it’s for nosey busy bodies

@igobyshaena You can take pips.

Dear friends and family, can you please stop having weddings on football game days so that I can bring my plus one. Thank you.

People say there is no such thing as a free lunch. I say bullshit. I just walked into Jersey Mikes and grabbed a bag off the counter. Thanks Amber Johnson for the free lunch. No onions next time.

@CincyBrewHaHa starts tomorrow!

I couldn’t get @thatchaddaniels to perform at this years @CincyBrewHaHa so I got the girl from TikTok that lip syncs his skits.

I asked this bucket on a date today.

Just found out my countertop is quartz, I took it for granite. I’ll show myself out.

How to get a week off work.

I’ve been watching videos on Tik Tok where someone asks someone for money on the streets and when they give it they turnaround and give them $5,000. I’m out $752 today.

Me: Glasses are sexy! Her: (pulls out her readers) Me: Not those kind.

The lady at Arbys just said “we can’t make a shake, because we lost a part to the machine cleaning it.” I replied, “that’s funny because you lost all of your teeth from not cleaning them.”