MommyDearest

This whole time I thought Travis Kelce played for Kansas.

If you're the kind of person who gets upset when things break, don't have kids. I know that now.

Me: * spends the day cleaning the house* My kids: what have you done?!

Kids at bedtime be like I suddenly need this stuffed animal I haven’t cared about for weeks so find it now or find an exorcist.

Moms are obsessed with iced coffee because our coffee always goes cold and we just got used to it

If by crossfit, you mean vacuuming the house while holding a toddler that doesn’t want to be held but also doesn’t want to be set down then yes, I do crossfit.

Creche is the most expensive thing that your kids never use because they're at home with the ilnesses they picked up at creche

Signed off an email with "bet" instead of "best" so yeah I'm a young un now

I need to see the numbers. Men must waste at least 5 years of their lives pooping. At least.

My kids when we are out of Calpol...

So funny how my ex always needs to talk to me at 2am and not 2pm

How come when my partner is sick they go to pieces but when I have the SAME ILLNESS I'm still doing laundry, dinner, and looking after the kids?

This can't be the same 10pm I used to start getting ready to go out at

That special time of year you realise you have bought more than your house can hold

At this point I'm just building a little tower at the foot of the stairs for my other half to ignore every time he passes

Keep thinking my Christmas cards are done with because they are sitting in the hall with stamps on them 😑

Life with a toddler? I spent all afternoon making a big family lasagne and am now scraping the sauce off the lasagne sheets for my three year old as she only wants the pasta.

It's that time of year again! Time to mute my friends who post their Elf on the Shelf every day

Idea: a "Missed Connections" type thing but for moms you really vibed with at the playground

My husband is always reading me #aita stories with horror meanwhile he's way worse than lots of those guys....