Mourning Talk Show

Peter Thiel on how the psychedelics revolution changed introspection: “We stopped going to outer space because we started going to inner space.” “We landed on the Moon in July, 1969.” “Three weeks later, Woodstock started— and that’s when the hippies took over the country.”

(Sexual) Paraphilia’s offer significant insight into one’s psychological and spiritual condition. If we brush them off as simply sexual deviance or perversion, we miss a deeper opportunity for proper integration. They arise as a result of a psychologically and spiritually fragmented society—which is a symptom of humanity’s current state of consciousness. Though these topics are “taboo,” avoiding them within spiritual and occult circles will ultimately do more harm than good. Chronic and toxic shame is the birthplace of fragmentation. There are some things I have wanted to talk about for a long time, but are not easily received as these topics often trigger extreme reactions. For example, if I suggest a compassionate perspective toward a person who is experiencing sexual attraction toward animals, there is a high likelihood that my sentiment will be twisted into excusing the behavior of those who commit abuse against animals. When I think of any paraphilia, I am always thinking of what unmet childhood need is attempting expression, or what lower aspect is begging for integration. However, these questions seek only to build a foundation for those who are deeply struggling, and is not en excuse for or endorsement of abusive behavior. In the case of sexual attraction toward animals (again, I am not necessarily talking about those who go on to abuse animals) what I see and hear coming from the inner child of the individual is, “I feel so deeply unworthy of human love and mutual affection. I feel so lowly, like an animal. At some point, I was made to feel less than human.” I would like to add the disclaimer here that each experience is unique, and I do not believe these thoughts are conscious…but rather, unconscious identity beliefs that manifest through sexuality as sexual expression is our first attempt at mature individuation. Thus, what manifests is either a result of our integration, or our fragmentation. Understanding the root of our fragmentation, through our misplaced sexuality, can help us to heal those identity wounds. Similar sentiments can be said about pedophilia. When we think of pedophilia, we often think of predatory adult men who go on to abuse children. However, even post-puberty children themselves may experience pedophilic desires in response to their own sexual or emotional abuse. To categorize these children as inherent monsters is to sentence them to a life of sexual and spiritual inversion, instead of inviting them into an experience of healing by offering them a safe place to discuss their feelings and the root of these desires. We often forget, when discussing these topics, that many of these paraphilia’s develop around puberty…which, from the perspective of occult science, is when the astrally body is “birthed,” or is “liberated.” Trauma stored in the astral body will inevitably express itself through sexual arousal, and inversion. Leading up to my own sexual development, I had fantasies of being sexually abused because that had been my experience up until my development, and it was what I learned that “love” looked like. Masochism may manifest as a coping mechanism to feign a sense agency or glorify weakness and submission as a liberating sexual choice to “replace” our feelings of powerlessness. Likewise, sadism may develop as an inverted and misdirected way to feel empowered. Sadism isn’t always about genuine pleasure in harming others. It can serve as a way to externalize pain, assert boundaries, or experience intimacy without making oneself vulnerable in the process. It may also correlate with an imbalanced/unintegrated masculine polarity. (Same with masochism + the rejected/defiled feminine) To conflate sexual trauma identities with authentic sexuality is to flatten complex trauma responses into a fixed sexual identity, negating personal agency. Things obviously become more complex when we move into the territory of intentional harm and abuse, but that is for another day.