Moutaz

Did you know if you replace your morning cup of coffee with a nice hot cup of green tea that you can lose up to 87% of the fucking little joy you have left in this life

🔴 BREAKING: Deutschland erklärt Spanien und die Niederlande zu Hochrisikogebieten to.welt.de/IEKAvhg

Das erste Symptom ist in der Regel eine Schwäche in Füßen und Beinen to.welt.de/v36UcuP

Mit großer Trauer und Mitgefühl haben Hannovers Brandschützer den Tod von zwei Feuerwehrleuten bei Unwettereinätzen in Nordrhein-Westfalen zur Kenntnis genommen. Wir fühlen mit den Angehörigen und Betroffenen. #EinsatzfürHannover

🚔 Verkehrsbehinderungen erwartet 🚔 Am Freitag, 09.07.2021, findet eine sich fortbewegende Versammlung im Stadtkern von Hannover statt. Es kann in der Zeit von 14:30-19:00 Uhr zu Verkehrsbehinderungen kommen. Weitere Infos ▶ fcld.ly/blyi85t

Ten years from now you'll put on a jacket and find a mask in the pocket. "Oh man, what a weird year that was", you'll chuckle to yourself. Then you'll pick up your machete and continue across the wasteland, keeping to the shadows to avoid the roving gangs of cannibal raiders.

Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said "I'll give you something to cry about." We thought they were gonna hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market, quadrupled college tuition, and melted the ice caps

If 2020 was an alcoholic drink it'd be vodka in a water bottle when you're expecting water

I wish I was a cow eating grass in a field. No rent. no job. no college. just moo

I can't believe we stayed up and screamed happy new year for this bullshit

Anxiety is like when a game's combat music is playing, but you can't find any enemies

Has anyone tried throwing a virgin into a volcano yet?

The last two weeks have been a strange ten years

Pirates spend their whole lives following a map, when the real treasure is the friendships they build along the way

How it feels waking up every morning in 2020

It's Thursday again, or as we call it nowadays, day.

When this is all over I'm going to french kiss every one of my friends for 45 minutes each

What is a thousand times better than Instagram? Instakilogram. Have a good day

Due to Corona, we officially have three days of the week 1. Yesterday 2. Today 3. Tomorrow

Whoever started playing Jumanji out there better stop that shit