Ken Pringle

@WhiteHouse I’m gonna trust the folks who have actual experience in wielding lightsabers. @MarkHamill

Happy May the 4th to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting so hard to to bring Sith Lords, Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, & well known MS-13 Gang Members, back into our Galaxy. You’re not the Rebellion—you’re the Empire. May the 4th be with you.

@RSVLTS Heck yeah!!!

Make every night Friday night 📺️ Tune in to the chaotic Cartoon Network x RSVLTS collab airing tomorrow, 4/8 at 4 PM ET #CartoonNetwork #RSVLTS

Gee, I wonder who the mystery QB was #NFL - the 26 year old QB with over 600 yards rushing in the regular season, or the 1,000-year-old QB who couldn’t run even when he wasn’t ancient? I guess I’ll have to click to find out! #LARvsPHI

I’ve gotta wonder how many unsolicited new writers’ packets @LateNightSeth gets flooded with every time @SethMeyers does his “Surprise Inspection” segment. It’s gotta be like Pun Armageddon in that office today. youtu.be/FQLBMPzPJI8?si…

@RSVLTS Happy Thanksgiving Insiders!

Weird, our parade invitation must've gotten lost in the mail... HAPPY THANKSGIVING to our entire RSVLTS fam!! Grateful for you all every day and we wish you health, happiness, and luck through your food comas today 🦃🫡

@bigleaguechew Field of Dreams: “Have a catch with your dad! *sniff!*” Major League: “Losers can be winners!” The Sandlot: “Childhood was amazing!” Moneyball: “Uhhh… Math is cool?” This is not a difficult choice.

Choose wisely...

Aaron Rodgers’ new read pattern: 1.) Davante Adams 2.) Allan Lazard 3.) Anybody else from Green Bay? 4.) Check the stands. Randall? Randall Cobb? Are you here? 5.) Throw it at Robert Saleh’s head. 6.) Dammit, I got Robert fired. 7.) Fine, that Wilson kid. What's his name? Gary?

@bigleaguechew I would push the button… because you didn’t say in WHICH SPORT! If that means I have to go without my favorite curling team getting a win or a goal or a skibididoo or whatever they score in that game, then so be it!

Would you push the button yes or no?

Hey @McDonalds - what in the unholy *#%^ is THIS?!? I ordered a cheeseburger with no pickles; what I received was a 6-piece Chicken McNuggets box filled with the living embodiment of the word “WHAAAAAA???”

@KStiz713 Actually, I HAVE ESPN+ and apparently I can only watch the Washington/Cinn game, but NOT the Buffalo/Jax game. Totally pissed!

@RapinDonaldHQ @JoJoFromJerz @Scaramucci I really wanna see what’s written on that second sign he’s holding. Poetry? A MAGA haiku? His diploma? (Probably not the third one.)

@JoJoFromJerz @Scaramucci You've listed all the reasons why MAGA loves him.

Trump is not the same. Something has happened.

Andy’s my boy - and Wonder Woman?!? To help @KamalaHQ??? C’mon #VO buddies - let’s do this thing!

@OreoExpress @MarkHamill

@MarkHamill Could You imagine 4 more years of this. We will be Venezuela. x.com/TrumpWarRoom/s…

People in my replies accusing me of tRUMP Derangement Syndrome couldn't be more correct. I fully believe he is profoundly deranged & proves it on a daily basis.

@RSVLTS This video is my new favorite thing in the world. Move over, first born kid!

Whatever happened to versatile clothes? For road trips, concerts, or hanging with your bros? Everywhere you look, anytime at all! It's the Anytime Collection from RSVLTS 🏠️❤️📺️ (Doop-a-dee-ba-ba-dow) rsvlts.com #RSVLTS #AnytimeCollection

Me: We’re out of milk. My Wife: What? How did this happen? Me: We consumed it. What other answer were you expecting? “Ninjas”?

And for the record, I HATE American cheese - but the order isn’t for me. And as worried as I am about getting my ass beat in a riot, I’m far more scared of screwing up my wife’s lunch order.

It’s always awkward ordering at a sandwich shop when there’s a selection of cheeses, because having to yell in a crowd of strangers “I’d like White American!” sounds a skosh too “hungry racist” for my comfort.

Just watched the @PeteRose_14 doc on @StreamOnMax (it’s great!) and it illustrates a point: Yes, it’s OK to both love AND hate somebody. Pete Rose can be charming, but he’s also an ignorant, arrogant narcissist with a gambling problem… who 100% belongs in the @MLB Hall of Fame.

Wile E Coyote cartoons are actually pretty relatable if you just replace the word “ACME” with “Amazon”. #truth

Why do so many sea creatures sound like they were named by a special needs intern? “CATFISH!” “Ok, I guess because the whiskers…” “JELLYFISH!” “But that’s not even…” “STARFISH!” “Dammit Bob STOP WRITING THEM DOWN!”